Lifestyle: Have you regretted your wedding?

It is beautiful to fall in love and crown it all with a wedding.

You look back on your wedding day- the dressing, rings, exchange of vows, reception and gifts and think you will live happily forever.However, with time, the romantic love fades and you see the bad side of your lover.

At this stage, many partners regret marrying their lovers. Some leave their marriages and some stay because they are constrained by social, religious and financial factors. In fact, studies show 75 per cent of women and 50 per cent of men think they chose the wrong partners and regret their wedding.

A woman’s greatest need in marriage is emotional fulfillment. She wants time with her lover and made to feel loved and cherished. When emotional fulfillment is put at risk in marriage, a woman feels pain and regret. A man on the other hand can cope better with disappointment in marriage because his greatest need is success at work.

At the same time, a man leaves marriage more than a woman.

Studies show if a man expects 10 things in his marriage and finds eight, he may leave his marriage. On the other hand, if a woman expects 10 things and finds only two, she will stay in her marriage.

A woman may regret her marriage but will accept to work hard on her marriage and stay.

The problem with marriage

Most people marry for the wrong reasons. A man looks for a beautiful woman and a woman looks for rich and popular man. In the early romantic stage, the man is patient with his woman. He sends gifts and shares many happy moments with you.

He takes you out and sometimes helps with the household chores. Soon after, he shifts his focus to his work. He wants space and time with his work and friends.Soon the kind words, fun and excitement go away and you wonder if it the same person you married.

Most people have myths about marriage. They feel marriage is easy, natural and instinctive.

Instead of serious courtship to ensure a compatible life partner and going for professional premarital counseling, they spend all the time on their wedding which lasts only a day. It is amazing how some women fuss about the colour of decoration, rings, dress, reception and invitation cards.

They are anxious to get into something that lasts a lifetime but for which they have not made any preparation.

The majority of people go into marriage to cover their inadequacies. A woman expects the man to meet all her needs including a good home, car, money for shopping and good children. Soon she finds the man who is supposed to care for the children makes no time for them. Some men have many lovers and in some cases children outside marriage.

Some become abusive and controlling. Some, out of envy, prevent their women from pursuing their dreams. You find that everything around you is the opposite of what you dreamt of. Nothing can be so disappointing and frustrating. No doubt today majority of marriages fail.

Do you regret your wedding?

It is normal for every person to have regrets at one point or another. Accept that all marriages are difficult and have their moments of pain and regret. Fact is most problems in marriage have no solutions because they are caused by our differences in background, temperaments and sexualities.

The good news is that if you work on your marriage it will work.

It is also known that in almost all marriages, it takes only one committed partner to turn a marriage around. Let it be you.

Your mind is your most powerful weapon in your marriage.

Therefore, see your marriage as good and focus on the good things you share. Don’t worry. Be happy. With commitment, effective communication, gratitude, forgiving spirit and prayer, you will not make room for regret but find contentment even in your challenges in marriage. Stay married and stay blessed.