Lifestyle: How to get her to dump you in 6 steps

Your relationship has run its course and you are ready to go your separate ways. But as much as you’d like to make a clean break, you are too spineless to actually sit her down and have “the talk.”

Ironically, men and women suffer the same affliction in the breakup department: cowardice. Yes, both men and women often wait out a relationship, hoping the other party will do the deed and end it officially.

So, for the man who wants out but is too much of a coward to do it himself, I have devised a step-by-step approach to accelerate the process of, well, getting dumped.

Below are six things that really drive us women mad. You can take them in the order they are arranged, or you can pick and choose what tactics you think would be most effective in your particular situation.

So if you want to get dumped quickly (though I can’t guarantee painlessly), read on.

Be ultra-noncommittal: If you can’t make or keep firm plans with her, she’ll know something is up. Most women know that when a man is interested, he wants to spend time with her; so when she sees you’re canceling dates at the last minute, she’ll be on to you.

Doing this consistently is both rude and a strong statement that you’re not that into her but I guess that’s what you’re going for here.

Be depressing: If you stop using your clever sense of humour and wit, going out together will become increasingly boring for the both of you.

From her perspective, if she enjoys your time together less, in turn, her interest in you may start to wane. She probably won’t break up with you over this alone, but it’s certainly a step in that direction.

Stop being affectionate: You can’t have your cake and eat it too, so if you are trying to keep her at arm’s length, it’s only fair to stop being intimate. In addition, if you discontinue all signs of affection like holding hands, kissing and touching her waist, she’ll feel your cold shoulder.

Be inconsiderate: You not only forget her birthday, your anniversary and other important dates, but you also show indifference about making plans for these occasions at all. These are all strong messages that you don’t take your relationship seriously.

Tell her you don't believe in marriage: This should put some of the final nails in your coffin. Of course, not every woman necessarily wants to get married, but a blatant statement like this will let her know that you’re not serious about a future together. This is more than a hint — and she’ll get it.

Disagree, all the time, about everything: When she wants Chinese food, you want Italian. If she’s on the political right, you’re on the left. Your unwavering opposition will be tiring to her, and within no time, she should be annoyed enough to send you packing.

However, before you implement the above steps, do consider the alternative: You can sit her down, and politely tell her that you’d like to go your separate ways, saving both of you the time and aggravation.

But for all you weasels out there, if you follow the above steps, chances are that she’ll throw your cowardly self out the door before you even get to step number six.