Lifestyle: I lost my marriage in building my career

‘….she did not leave my house because my husband would have me go instead….’

I decided to let the cat out of the bag, because I see many married women who are entrusting their responsibilities at home, to their house helps. I married the love of my life and we loved each other dearly. He had two children, but I accepted to marry him because I was crazy in love. He was an executive director of a reputable institution and I was a manager in an equally big company. We met at a colleague’s party.

We dated for few years, before marrying. After a year God blessed us with a beautiful baby girl. I became overwhelmed with household duties and so I decided to get an additional help by employing a housekeeper.

Upon resuming work and due to my demanding work schedule, I had to leave home early and came back home late sometimes, this I would admit any day. I got caught up with the high demand of my job schedule, neglecting my responsibilities at home. With time my housekeeper did everything including preparing breakfast and lunch for my husband which I vowed to do myself no matter what unless I was sick during the early stages of my marriage.

I lost focus of my marriage and my place as a married woman, after five years of marriage. During this period I had been promoted twice at work. One day, I came home in the afternoon and met my husband home, to my surprise. My housekeeper was in an outfit, I had never seen her wear since I brought her from the village. In fact, she was dressed like she had just returned from a night out. My husband was relaxing on the sofa at the lounge and watching Television. I asked what was happening and neither of them said anything to me.

I felt like I was in a jungle and left on my own in a scary forest, not knowing what to do. I had many questions to ask my husband that evening but he wouldn’t answer any. I did not go to work the following day because I wanted to probe more. Reminiscing back my husband was not interested in having sex with me, at a point in my marriage. He gave me all kinds of excuses when we were in our closet.

Finally my housekeeper broke the silence and confessed to being sleeping with my husband for over three years. I asked her to go back to the village and I would settle her but she did not leave my house because my husband would have me go instead….’

I offered my lovely wedded husband on a ‘silver platter’ to a house help. I was just helpless when my husband told me he was no longer in love with me. Tears rolled down my eyes that faithful midnight hour when I woke him up, to have a chat about our marriage. He said this to me ‘I married you to take care of my children and me, not to build a career in someone else’ company, knowing well you would retire one day’.

I felt a sharp pain in my heart when the unthinkable and unbearable statement came out of his lips. ‘I am madly in love with your house help and there is nothing I can do. If you so wish you can leave with us and pretend as if we are a couple, if not then advice yourself’. At that moment I wish the earth would open and swallow me up, and everything would end. I felt my world crushing down right before my very eyes. I walked down the aisle with the hope that death would do my husband and I path and not with the help of a housekeeper.

Eventually, our marriage came ended, as I could not compete with my house help in my marital home. I lost my husband, a home that I had built for five years with my husband. Little did I know that my house keeper was in a serious relationship with my husband for four years.

My fellow married women, admittedly it is not easy combining work with family and the household responsibilities. Be cautious and vigilant, about whom you bring to your marital home to assist you.

This lady came across as helpful but found a way to lure my husband to bed and I lost marriage for good. I blame myself in a way because I trusted her with my house and my family.

My husband and kids saw her to be around and caring as she was readily available more than I did. I am now married with two more kids. I learnt my lesson the hard way; my fellow married and professional women, kindly do live up to your responsibilities, never leave your husband and children in the hands of a strange woman. It is great to build your career but does not ignore your family as it can be very costly.

Narrated by Lisa M. & Written by FOUNDER & AUTHOR of COUPLECLICK