Lifestyle: Password the relationship killer - Counselor Adofoli

Marriage is one of the safest relationships one can have because of trust. It takes trust for a man to leave his parents for a stranger.

It takes trust for a woman to leave her home and prestigious family identity in the name she inherited from her parents, for a name she knows little about.

Marriage has become the only relationship which is only separated by death, a death from your maker and not a murderer, a relationship that can make and unmake someone. And if one decides to get married, it's normal to test the prospective partner with the little things; just to be sure they have the grace for the big things.

For the bible says in Luke 16:10 (TLB) "No! For unless you are honest in small matters, you won’t be in large ones. If you cheat even a little, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities".

Why should a common password on a phone be a deciding factor for one getting into marriage? I am not saying it's a crime to have password on your phone. If you are using that to protect your phone, be willing to disclose it to your partner when they ask for. It's just a simple test of truth and faith in someone you want to become one with.

But if you are crooked with a mobile phone, then you definitely don't deserve one's heart. What it means is I can't trust you with my life. Marriage is a priority; your marriage comes before anything on this earth. To tell someone "I want to marry you" simply means you want to make them the most important thing in your life. It is telling them "I want to serve you first before any other thing", "I want to listen to you first before anyone other person".

The sad truth is, many people hurry into marriage without knowing this common truth. Men want to be leaders but they don't know that a follower follows in the steps of a leader. If you want your wife to submit to you, then you first do what you are expected to, which is to love her, put her first above your phone. A wife is equally required to respect her husband above any other thing.

A mobile phone is supposed to aid communication and enhance life; but the way people use it is rather killing marriages now more than ever. These days people have sex on phone; either through chat, voice or video. People are committed to outsiders other than their partners due to the power of mobile phone.

People smile at their phones whilst chatting with someone miles away, but frown and squeeze their faces whilst talking to their spouse at home. People protect their phone yet leave their spouses vulnerable; people feed their phones, charge, top up credit, change screens, etc; and yet starve their partners at home.

Nobody wants to be a 'detective' all of his or her marital life, this life is too stressful already. So before you get married, make sure this man or woman is someone you can trust with your heart, life and happiness; and one of the best ways to test that is through little things like password on phones. Marriage is not a pair of rings, or being a roommate but rather it's a vow to trust and always put your partner first and stand by them. It’s a lifelong friendship.

One thing you need to know, no one is perfect, everyone comes with a baggage with content including doubts, fears, loss, etc but the beauty about marriage is finding someone you can trust to help you unpack these baggage. If you find no trust in the one you are dating now, it's best to let them go for they can't help you let go of these baggage but will rather add to it.

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

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