Lifestyle: Pretending to understand

Frank Blue Counsellor Counsellor Frank Adofoli

Wed, 29 Jun 2016 Source: Counselor Frank Adofoli

Misunderstanding is simply defined as a failure to understand something correctly which most at time leads to a disagreement or quarrel.

This has had negative effects on most relationships. The question is, why do we misunderstand people? And when we do, what is the best way to correct that? This often occurs because people are quick to judge or conclude; also some people feel lazy to read or ask questions. For some they are either shy or don’t want to appear as one who lacks knowledge, in other words a fool.

But the truth is, you are not a fool because you asked about something you don't understand, but it’s the one who misunderstood. For the bible says "A fool finds no delight in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion" - Proverbs 18:2 (TLV).

One of the worst distance between two people is misunderstanding; this happens a lot in marriages when spouses refuse to listen to the each other. People misunderstand the context of marriage, enter with their own philosophy, and assume they were wise so they wanted to change their partners. Some of these marriages and relationships end up failing because of that.

If you are reading this today and going through a similar fate, become wise and understand that, changing your spouse is not the solution, changing yourself is the way to go. Learn to listen and understand your partner.

We can only overcome this when we have a humble spirit and a heart that yearns to listen than quick to judge.

Anyone who doesn't understand you has the right to ask, but if they are not humble to do that, it means they don't want to. It will be a waste of time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

Don’t treat life like Ghana Politics, where one is labelled with a particular colour and no matter the good in you, people just misjudge or concluded on you. The fact that I don't belong to your camp doesn't mean I can't learn from you or be friends with you. It doesn't mean we can't exchange ideas or work together.

Being different is unique; it’s beautiful and offers the opportunity for one to see from different angles and corners; a collection of such views priceless and a solution to problems we face in this life.

In fact, there is nothing called Problem, it’s just an absence of an idea to find solution, and one of the things that deprives us of such ideas is misunderstanding. Lots of people are suffering injustice and unfairness, all because people misunderstood them.

When we believe in things that we don't understand, we end up suffering. Superstition is not the way to go. We live in a world of civilization, let’s ask questions.

Henceforth, anytime you come across misleading tiles, take time to read before you conclude. If someone says anything and you don't understand, do that crazy thing called asking.

In conclusion "It's stupid and embarrassing to give an answer before you listen" - Proverbs 18:13 (CEV).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Source: Counselor Frank Adofoli