Counsellor Frank Adofoli
I am writing this message based on a frequent problem many marriages and relationships encounter daily; where one spouse catches the other cheating with another person outside the marriage, and has evidence of them meeting, sleeping around, etc.
This behaviour is not acceptable in marriages and a divorce can be granted based on this. Other solutions like working at it and resolving this amicably is an avenue that a lot of couples don’t even venture, so they end up hurting each other and destroying their relationship with their actions and words. The faithful partner feels stabbed in the back, betrayed and disrespected. Then instead of filing their case to God for an intervention, they decide to feed their emotions.
Some go to the extent of chatting with their ex and strangers online who are thousands of miles away, and try to fill their emotional vacuum with these outsiders. Soon they also start a digital form of cheating which to them is not wrong. For them, as long as they will never meet physically or be seen together, they are not committing adultery.
These presumed 'faithful' spouses later spend all their time praying to God for their partners to change, but without results.
They travel from one church, revival, pastor and prophet to another without success; and yet retire home at mid night to their love chats online, whether the 'Cheating' spouse is around or not. Both are busy at home, glued to their phones.
Cheating, adultery goes beyond our standard. If there is any standard to go by, it is that of God’s. Jesus said "But I say to you that whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart" - Matthew 5:28 (MEV).
So just the thought of flirting with another person via chat who is miles away from you, or imagining yourself naked with them as if you are with your spouse in order to meet your emotional needs, is a sin in the first place.
If you are in a video chat which suggests exposure of your body, nude pictures, dirty talks, phone sex etc., you are not far from the one who is physically doing it. Both are guilty as charged in God's court.
And this is a major reason why God doesn't listen to your prayers when you report your partner who is physically cheating.
One of the key elements for winning a case in our earthly court is producing concrete evidence. The partner who is secretly chatting others, can say they have evidence suggesting that their spouse is physically involved and as such they have a case; but in God’s court, no evidence is needed because He has it all. He knows and sees your deepest secrets.
"No one can hide from God. His eyes see everything we do. We must give an answer to God for what we have done" - Hebrews 4:13 (NLV)
God examines the thoughts and hearts and not just the physical. If you want to win your case in God's court then I suggest to you, have a change of heart, stop the chat, ask God for forgiveness and ask him to work on your case for you.
In conclusion, it doesn't matter who hurt you or broke you down. What matters is who made you smile again, and God has the power to that. Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
