Lifestyle: The danger of not loving yourself - Counsellor Adofoli

How do you price yourself when you don't know your worth? How do you add tax to yourself when you don't know your value? How do you want someone to accept you when you can't accept yourself?

How do you want someone to call you a good person when you don't even know you are? How do you expect someone to tell you "you are beautiful" when you don't even know you are?

How do you expect someone to love you, when you don't even love yourself? How do you want someone to put you first when you can't put yourself first?

I keep saying dating is not for boys and girls, it’s not for babies and toddlers, and it’s not for pupils and students. Rather, it’s for grown-ups and the matured; who know what they want because they know what they have.

The danger of not loving yourself doesn't only make you empty and look for others to fill you; it also makes you live your life on people’s empty words. They will say words they don't mean just to keep you around.

Because you are empty and desperate, people tell you lies, making empty promises just to gain access to your heart. And once they succeed, they reveal their true colours to you. You know they are not good for you but because you don't love yourself enough, you couldn't walk away.

Stop trying to see in people only what you want to see, even when they show you who they really are. Believe them, for their actions reveal where their heart really is.

These people are only using you and don't see you as a marriage material, or someone they want to settle with as a life partner. It doesn't matter how much you submit, lavishly spend on them, flatter them or give them sex without limits; They are only time wasters and don't plan of leaving anytime soon.

It’s time you stopped listening to "I am sorry" when their words have lost value because they failed to back them with actions.

The bible says in 1 Timothy 4:4 (NLT) "Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks". These good things include you and you should never reject yourself. It doesn't matter if you are a plus size woman.

Of course people will tell you in your face "you are cute" and behind you they look at you as if you are a disgrace. You should know what God says about you and know what man gossips. Your beauty goes beyond your appearance; there is more to you than that.

You should be smart enough to walk away from all sorts of negativity. Never think your physical attribute is what will get you a good man, woman, or a good marriage, if that is the case, we will not have models and a lot of celebrities having bad relationships.

You have a heart and can see good in others which includes yourself, whilst those who mock you are heartless and can't see the beauty in you. The heart sees more beauty than the eyes do; so the question to you now is, who is more beautiful?

In conclusion "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago" - Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

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