Lifestyle: The myths about love

MYTH 1: There is only one true love for me

Probably the biggest myth of all is the belief that there is only one special person out there just for you. It’s a belief that fate has designed things so if you don’t meet that one special soul mate, you’ll never experience true love.

TRUTH: Think about your friends and family and how much you love each person individually. Even if you’ve had a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you used up your one chance of finding the right partner. Potentially, there are many different men you could be happy with.

MYTH 2:If there isn’t an initial spark then it’s not love

Some women are far too influenced by how romance is portrayed in films, where there is always an amazing spark of attraction between lovers when they first meet. This means they worry if when they meet someone for the first time they don’t leave feeling starry-eyed.

TRUTH: You need only think of all the happy couples you know to realise that many of them had a shaky start. Many couples start off as friends and then love grows gradually over time. Many don’t even like each other at first and yet end up falling in love.

MYTH 3: Love at first sight

When you do have a dreamy start you might think its true love but mostly, its lust. When you like someone, your body and brain chemistry responds to their body and brain chemistry and it’s that sparkle that provokes immediate attraction. It is lust that happens instantly. However, with the right circumstances, lust can develop into love.

TRUTH: All relationships go through a honeymoon phase. During this period it feels like the best possible partnership you could have. With a little time you either find out this person isn’t as great as you thought or you develop a genuinely strong bond.

MYTH 4: He is just not my type

Women often refuse to date men who aren’t their “type”. In many cases, a person’s type is based on one happy experience in a relationship. From that point on they believe that is the only sort of person they can be happy with.

TRUTH: Take a look at your closest friends and ask yourself if they’re all the same “type”? The answer’s bound to be no. This proves you can get on with different people.

MYTH 5: I’ll never find another love like that

So you’ve experienced “the greatest love of all” but it came to an end for whatever reason. Now you believe you’ll never find another like it. Of course, you won’t: no two people are the same, so no two love affairs will be either. However, you may find an equally good love based on different qualities.

TRUTH: You think you’ve read the greatest book ever, seen the best film and heard the finest music. Yet another time you’ll see a film you like more but for different reasons. You can, and will, fall in love again.