Lifestyle: Trading a lover for a joker

Couple Happy Happy File Photo

Wed, 23 Nov 2016 Source: Counselor Frank Adofoli

Since talk is sweet and cheap, a joker can easily make us happy with their jokes and fairytales.

It is easy for some people to think these jokers could be the dream partners they have been looking for but the truth is, most of the stories they cooked up just to put smiles on our faces never existed.

In fact most people are with partners who don't know the worth or value of what they have until they lose it, this is why it’s easy for them to exchange you for what is less.

Sometimes you play back all the promises and vows you made to each other and wonder if this was love from the word go or it was all a dream. This can make love a scary and fearful venture, especially when we are promised forever in a world where even life is temporary.

Why on earth will a wife leave a lovely husband of five years for a boyfriend she just met a week ago? Why will a husband think the girl he met one night on social media is better than the woman he has been married to for years? Why will one leave a long-term but stable relationship which is leading to marriage in the near future, for a fairytale and fantasy they met just a few days ago? The blame cannot be pushed on to one gender, both are guilty as charged. The truth is, some good women fall for good lairs just because falling in love is easy and women fall in love by what they hear.

Likewise some good men fall for pretty and sexy looking women, who are good to go to bed with but not good to wake up to. Men do this because they are driven via what they see. The extreme is when some men even fall for women they have never seen in person, only in pictures.

It all boils down to how we get our partners. The bitter pill is, the way you get them is most at times the same way you lose them.

Nobody will knowingly exchange real currency for a fake one; because you don't know what you have, you are able are able to open the door for another person to come in and destroy what you had.

No man or woman is perfect, and for that matter we have to be honest in our relationships. Let your partner know why you are into this relationship; is it for better for worse? Or is it until the next one comes around. Open up to your partner when they do something wrong, and together find out how you can resolve it. If we have agreed to stay together, then it’s worth talking about everything.

A true relationship doesn't entertain visitors; it wants someone who stays, not one who won’t come back; it wants the one who is afraid of losing them, not the one who can easily replace them.

Many people don't realize the good man or woman they have in their lives until they are gone and are with someone new. Then they become emotional and want to be given a second chance to put things right. That's what I will describe as too little too late. Once your ex is over you and happy with a new relationship, you are not going to get them back.

At this point you come to accept that the sweet chats and jokes don’t define who a good person is, and it can't take the place of your ex either. This is where many people create a nuisance, begging people to convince their ex to come back, or disturbing and threatening the comfort of the ex next relationship.

The moral here is for you to cherish, love and respect your loved one, for it hurts to see your fellow man, who is not super human, excellently doing what you could have done but failed to do.

In conclusion "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush; mere dreaming of nice things is foolish; it’s chasing the wind" - Ecclesiastes 6:9 (TLB). Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Source: Counselor Frank Adofoli