Listening, is how you keep him in love

When we talk about attention in the context of relationship, lots of people believe women are the ones who demand a lot of it, some men even tag them as attention seekers. Many people don't know men actually demand attention whilst women seek attention. Yes, you heard me right. When women talk about attention, they are looking for someone who will make time to talk to them. It’s her desire her man will make time to talk to her. She is more hurt when he is not making time to talk to her.

On the other hand, men want women who give attention to their words and when their woman fail to do that, some are quick to say she does not respect them or she is not submissive to them. Many men like to give orders and expect their women to obey. Many men ask authoritatively from their women. They go along very well with women who do as they say than a woman who questions them. Men fall in love quickly with a woman who listens to them. They are fond of women who gives attention to their words. A relationship where the women doesn't listen to her man is full of arguments.

Men are something else, sometimes we don't speak but we want to be heard and understood. We want our women to know when we don't want to be bothered or disturbed, it doesn't mean we have fallen out of love with her or have found someone else. We just need time to think, in order not to be disturbed or distracted from such process, we will like to be left alone. Maybe because we are not multitasked as women are. Talking is not our natural way of solving things, we believe thinking alone is the best way. Sometimes we get trapped with our thinking without result.

Sometimes we need a friend who will listen to us, not for a solution but to know what we have been struggling with, to understand our frustration, to see the difficulty we are faced with. We do that so you can understand us and also calm us down with your words, touch, comfort etc.

But the truth is, sometimes we are misunderstood. Instead of her to listen to our fear, difficulty, struggles and putting herself in our shoes, to understand what is happening to us and calm us down, she rather blows the issue out of proportion. She rather gets into the same mood and tries to make sense out of what we are thinking and link it to something else. When you do that, we don't only get lost, but we distance ourselves from you and find it hard to voice out our frustration next time. When you spot us thinking about something and even ask about it, we prefer to say nothing. And that makes you worry the more.

We open up to you as a friend, someone who will comfort us. Love to a man is sometimes comfort, how you calm us down, how you drive away our fears. Your comfort to your man especially in a time of distress, confusion, anger, stress, frustration is like sunshine after the rain.

Women who know how to do that do not only win the love of their men but their men stay closer to them when they are going through difficult times. Women are very powerful, God has given you so much influence over your men. Some ladies don't know the influence they have over their men and also don't know how to use the tool God has blessed them with.

Your tender words, your tender touch, your caresses, your smiles, looks, etc are some of the powerful tools that can keep a man glued to you like a dog to it's owner. Those who know how to use that are the very ones who are enjoying from it. It is amazing how some singles know these things and are exercising that on people's husbands. Being a friend to your man is one way of keeping him in love with you. You do that by listening to him, listening to understand him and when you do that, it's like two people with one mind.

In conclusion, "A warning given by an experienced person to someone willing to listen is more valuable than gold rings or jewelry made of the finest gold" - Proverbs 25:12 (GNT).