My 3-year-old relationship is about to end because I started entertaining another man

Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m a 26-year-old lady who now works in reputable firm. I have a boyfriend who has always been supportive and loving. I met him when I was in my final year and he supported me when I was in school till I completed. I sometimes do have challenges in my life which I feel other men would leave me for, but this man has always been by me. I sometimes tell him that I’m scared he will leave me like other men, but then he will pamper me and give me assurances that I will be fine.

He drew me closer to God and that’s one of the things I’m so grateful for. He sometimes fasts and prays for me during hard times. Our relationship has been smooth, and if I should complain about something, then it’s just communication. He is a very busy person. Even though he is the CEO of his company, he always wants to be present and active. He barely gets the time to talk to me on phone unless maybe when I go to his office.

We’ve been together for 3 years now and we’re both obsessed with each other. I sometimes tell him he stresses himself too much but he keeps saying “Money must be made” so he can take good care of me when we get married. So, in a way, I stopped complaining about the attention and decided to still love him regardless.

Normally, he tells me that I’m always complaining because I’m not working but I never accepted that. I got a job three months ago, which means that I started being busy and giving excuses whenever he tells me he wants to spend time with me.

I’ve now channelled all my energy into my job, more than in him. He then started raising issues about how I barely talk to him because of my job.

Two months ago, he started giving me attitude: he doesn’t always pick my calls or even return them. I didn’t entertain that, so, I decided to just focus on myself and my job. He never went a day without hearing from me but now he could go for four days without talking to me. I started feeling like he doesn’t care about me anymore.

He could actually send me money and he won’t text to tell me he has sent me money. Day by day, things became worse because I also decided to ignore him. Then along the line, I started entertaining one guy. The guy proposed to me but I told him I will think about it. Initially, I didn’t hide the fact that I was in a relationship with my boyfriend, and I didn’t want to say no to the new guy, so, I told him let’s see how things will go. Eventually, I sent a breakup message to my boyfriend. He was shocked I could send him such message.

He got angry and so, he didn’t say anything concerning the breakup message, so, I thought he was cool with it. It was a week to my birthday and he wished me in advance. My boyfriend started asking me if I’m planning something for my birthday and I told him I will be working. He later texted that he wants to speak with me so I should come to his office. Even though I stopped communicating, I never stopped loving him. I went to his office and we solved our differences and he surprised me with a gift.

I’ve also led the other guy on and I feel so bad about it because I’ve realised the guy is in love with me. Now, my boyfriend and I are cool again; we communicate when we get the chance since we are both busy with work now. I had to update the other guy about my boyfriend and I. Inasmuch as I wanted to keep him, I didn’t want to cheat on my boyfriend too and I can’t date two men at the same time. The other guy feels betrayed and he said I shouldn’t have led him on because I’m in love with someone else.

The guy said he can’t move on without me, so. my boyfriend should leave me for him. When I told him that won’t work, he threatened to tell my boyfriend everything. He said he stole his contact from my phone when I asked him to check something for me on my phone. I’m scared my boyfriend will break up with me and I don’t want our bond to be broken. My boyfriend has always told me when he catches me cheating, that will be the end of us. How am I supposed to handle this issue? Should I confess to my boyfriend first before the other guy contacts him?

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