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“I'm sorry but I can't give you what you want."
“I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”
“I thought you knew the arrangement before we started.”
“Why are you interested in a relationship now?
“I don’t like to be boxed in.”
These are some of the familiar lines spewed out once you ask the “where is this is going” question after months of “seeing each other.”
Seeing each other is in quotes because it’s not actual dating. You have been enjoying the benefits of being together and having great sex but have not defined the relationship yet.
So simply put, you’re in a situationship. The urban dictionary describes it as “a relationship that has no label to it. It's like a friendship but more than a friendship, but not quite a relationship.”
Basically, you just chill together, are cool together, you’re having sex together, and last but not least, you have not defined if you are together or not.
situationship are further complicated by sex. You form an emotional connection with that person but don’t even know what to call them when forced to introduce them to others.
So you fumble to find words to describe your status. “I mean we’re not really dating, but it’s not like we’re just having only sex either.” You definitely care for each other and there’s a mutual respect…but you’re headed nowhere fast.
That will be the script for a while but eventually, one of you will grow tired of the ambiguity and ask, “So where is this going?” And, more often than not, the one who wants the relationship defined, ends up getting hurt because they don't get what they want.
These no-strings-attached relationships have become popular, but it’s time we detach ourselves from situationship shackles.
You’ve been single for God knows how long and you finally found someone to whom you are attracted to. You also find that frequent sex is part of the deal but you are stuck there because the mind-blowing sex is often what keeps the perplexing nature of a situationship going.
However, if you take the time to reflect, you may find that more often than not, the time you’ve spent together is in a closed setting and/or mostly at night.
You’re either at his place or she’s at yours, and there’s hardly anyone else around. You may spend the night but none of your things will ever be left over at their place.
It’s like you’re hiding each other. Your main means of communication is texting and you hardly ever sit to talk about anything of significance that is not related to sex.
You don’t want to be spotted together. That is not healthy. You should know that you deserve better, and that is to be treated with dignity, respect, and honor.
If you really care about the other person and want to move ahead into a relationship, sit down and talk. Don’t waste any more time on a situationship.
Are you in a situationship? Is it working for you? Let us know in comments.
