She wont submit if she won't change her name - Counselor Adofoli

Roles in marriage - Part 1

One of the most argued statement is "the man is the head and the woman has to submit to him". Some people believe it is a religious practice whilst others just quote the Bible to support such arguments. Some men also take advantage of such statement and lord it over the woman, while some women misunderstand such a statement and end up displaying a lot of arrogance.

The first man God created was Adam, which was Male and Female. They were spirits, they were equal, they had the same blessing. God later put this spirit into one body or flesh. And later cut the woman out of the man Adam. "He created them male and female. He blessed them and called them Mankind in the day when they were created" - Genesis 5:2 (MEV).

The Female was taken out of Adam, in other words, Adam gives birth to the Female. Adam becomes her source, his rib which was taken to form her. And because the Female was taken out of Adam, She became his responsibility. Adam, in other words became the caretaker of the woman. God gave Adam the privilege to name the Female (Eve) because Adam was responsible for the woman.

"Then the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and took one of his ribs and closed up the place from which he had removed it, and made the rib into a woman, and brought her to the man" - Genesis 2:21-22 (TLB).

So Adam became the father of the woman. Adam became the head of the woman. A father provides for his children just as the Electricity Company supply our homes with electric power or light of current. The source is a provider, it also protect the interest, and listens to it customers or clients. The clients in return honour the source or respect its terms and conditions such as paying our bills on time, etc.

Any person who wants to get into marriage needs to understand these roles. Violating them affects the relationship. Every husband is a source for his family including the wife. The woman needs to understand this role and leadership and respect it.

If the man you want to marry does not have what it takes to provide for you, protect, listen to you, such a man cannot be your husband. If you proceed with him, there will be problems. These are systems created by God and the reason why marriages are not working is because we are breaking the systems or the laws.

If he is getting married to you because of your income, and wants you to practice 50/50 in that marriage, such a man is just telling you, he wants you to be co-source or co-father. In such homes, there is going to be two heads, there will always be conflict. There is always going to be a battle of the heads. The wife cannot submit, because she has been made a source; the source’s role is to provide and it expects the one she is providing for to respect and submit to her. There are marriages which are run like that.

If the woman you want to marry, does not see you as the head or source, although you have what it takes to provide, protect and listen to her, then she cannot be your wife or helping mate.

Honor and respect means the world to a man because of how they were created and the role they play especially in the marriage. This is why the man re-owns the woman after marriage by changing her name. A woman who doesn’t want to change her name after marriage is just telling the man indirectly that “I won't submit to your leadership.”

To be Continued....

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