Put the child first in co-parenting relationships - Mothers advised

Navigating co-parenting relationships and blended families can be one of the most challenging aspects of modern motherhood, according to speakers at the second edition of Convergence of Mothers organised by media personality MzGee.

The issue came up during a question-and-answer session when an audience member asked how mothers can successfully co-parent with former partners while ensuring consistency in a child's upbringing, particularly when a stepmother becomes involved.

Responding to the question, Principal and Director of Creative Minds Academy, Alberta Mensah, stressed the importance of maintaining healthy relationships among the adults involved for the sake of the child.

According to her, younger children often struggle with transitions between households, making stability and communication essential.

"If it's possible, the mother should keep the child during the formative years," she suggested, adding that where shared parenting arrangements exist, maintaining a cordial relationship with the other woman can make a significant difference.

"Once you are cool with the other woman, there can be conversations," she said.

Musician and event organiser Mimi Adani approached the issue from a different perspective, advocating clear boundaries from the outset.

Drawing from her own experience, she explained that she established specific rules regarding access to her child and interactions involving other adults.

"I will never prevent my child's father from seeing his child," she said. "But there were boundaries."

Adani emphasised that clarity and consistency helped her avoid confusion and conflict, particularly during her child's early years.

For gospel musician and author Celestine Donkor, however, the conversation ultimately came back to the values mothers choose to instill in their children.

Having worked closely with women over the years, she said she has encountered many difficult co-parenting situations and understands the emotions involved.

Nevertheless, she cautioned mothers against allowing personal conflicts to shape how children view step-parents or other adults in their lives.

"Teach them to love," she advised.

Donkor urged mothers to speak respectfully about stepmothers and avoid using children as channels for grievances.

According to her, children eventually grow up and develop their own understanding of the relationships around them.

"They will grow up and their wisdom will help them discern the kind of mother you are," she said.

While the panelists offered different approaches, they agreed on one central principle: decisions surrounding co-parenting should prioritise the wellbeing of the child rather than the tensions that may exist between adults.