Counsellor Frank Adofoli
There is a maturity period for everything under the sun; there is a period for bearing fruits and a time for investment to mature. Plants and animals have theirs and humans also have theirs in various forms; it takes a woman nine months of pregnancy to give birth; schooling has its maturity period depending on what you are studying, the institution and country.
But sadly there are people dating who don’t know when they are getting married and don’t even know when to let go of such relationships. There are some ladies, who are constantly on the neck of their guys, to walk them to the altar, after five years of dating and nothing seems to be happening.
What makes you think a man is serious with you and wants to get married to you? This is one question whose answers from random ladies get me amused. To some the way the guy talks shows how serious he is, to others because they have been given a promise ring, to others still, it’s because he has taken them home and they know their parents, while some say he has come to see my parents.
Besides all these efforts, nothing seems like the marriage is going to come anytime soon. This makes the ladies behave like debt collectors, pushing their guys to redeem or pay back the marriage promise made to them.
Nobody steps into the unknown without having at least an idea of a possible outcome. If its schooling, you know the number of years so you plan accordingly; when it’s about planting, you have idea of when it will mature or bear fruit; so what prevents one from setting aside a specific time for dating?
This happens because people take dating as pre-marriage school, once they start dating, they assumed they will automatically get married to the person at all cost.
Dating for three, five or more years without any plans for marriage only means you are good enough to be his girlfriend but not good enough to become his wife.
Don't get comfortable with such a position and forget you can easily be replaced. Let nobody tell you that they are not making an effort because of monetary issues. It has more to do with your net worth in their life. If they see you as a wife, they will do all it takes to get married to you.
This is not the time for you to cry, think of wasted time or force him to marry you. Not even giving him a child will make him stay in marriage with you.
Listen to me, when a man's actions don't represent what you truly deserve, it's time to let go! You cannot make him see your worth or value. Sometimes we are in love with the idea and don't pay attention to the reality. Always remember, when you hold unto a wrong person, you put your joy, peace, love, hope and faith in jeopardy.
In conclusion, examine the relationship you are in now "And if it bears fruit, good. But if not, cut it down” - Luke 13:9 (TLV). Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
