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Here is something that could work. Condoms for celebs. As simple in concept, so also is it lacking.
Our celebs are usually well feted. Well feted with product endorsements and brand affiliations.
But one type of product that is surely missing from their arsenal is some sort of sexual prophylactic.
And it’s not because I think our celebs need more endorsements. Far from it. In fact, I think that the less endorsements they have, the better for them.
The less beholden they are to corporate paymasters, the more freedom and flexibility to hone their craft.
So, why am I advocating condoms for celebs as a workable idea? Because it may not be what our celebs want but, apparently what they sorely need.
Only a couple of days ago, a U.K. based (model) claimed that she is expecting Nigerian singer Runtown‘s first child.
Just like you, I have no idea if the girl is telling the truth. But the fact that her public disclosure didn’t really cause that much ripples in the industry is because it has happened more than a few times to other celebs.
In fact, it is easier to list celebs without baby mama drama than to list those with.
Also, that Runtown was equivocal when we called him to respond to the girl’s claim of his paternity shows that maybe this wasn’t one drama he needed or wanted.
And he is not alone.
Herein lies the need for celeb condoms
But we have regular condoms for regular people, why do our celebs need special condoms, I hear you say.
You see, our celebs are too busy creating great material to be bothered with mundane things such as remembering to sheathe their weapon in the heat of the moment.
The last thing we would would want is something that would distract their attention from delivering great entertainment content to us.
Enter the condoms for celebs.
How would it work? Very simple.
Your favourite celeb signs up to the condoms for celebs program which then has a pressure sensitive chip inserted in the sensitive area. This chip is monitored by an app installed on the celeb’s phone.
Now when that celeb is about to engage in sexual congress with a potential baby mama, the pressure sensitive chip is alerted by the smartphone application, which prompts the chip to release a sheet of ribbed latex to swiftly cover the celeb ‘s member.
And bingo, the unwanted baby mama drama is avoided.
And don’t you worry, the same technology is available to female celebs too. With just a slight tweak, the same chip can produce a sheet of latex to cover the inside of her walls, if you catch my drift.
Of course, the celebs will have to pay a subscription fee to offset the cost of such an operation. A little sum, something that wouldn’t cost more than the price of a bottle of Hennessy at Quilox.
Now who knows where the nearest patent office is?
