Diaries of Oguaa Fisherman: Dear armed robbers, come for dinner and let’s talk

Dear armed robbers,

Many fishermen at Oguaa have been urging me to write to you for the sake of humanity.

But I have resisted their request, because of the feeling that any letter from me would amount to impertinence. However, something tells me that I must write to you to make my appeal for whatever it may be worth.

It is quite clear that you are today the most talked about group in Ghana (I hope you’re enjoying it wherever you find yourself).

Having enjoyed our attention including getting the IGP to reshuffle his top men, all in pursuit of you is no mean achievement.

This is my first time of writing to you. What I have to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: something you already know but I must keep reminding you.

In a spate of two weeks, you guys have got everyone talking. You have turned many Ghanaians into security analysts and experts overnight. To say you have really visited shock on every Tom, Dick and Harry in Ghana would be a huge understatement.

You sure know how to get our attention but must it amount to taking all our hard-earned monies and killing us in such manner?

We know you have been robbing us but not in this brazen fashion. Your new wave of attacks these days are symptomatic of an alien style. Ghanaian robbers (I am speculating) are not as bold as what you are taking us through. Tell me, have you been injected with some alien blood such that you could be this wicked or you are just streets ahead of the policemen we have?

I know in times past, you served your would-be victims letters even before you attacked them but these days, you have stopped such letter-games and have resorted to what we’re witnessing. I don’t know if you are on social media. If you’re not, use one of the phones you took from us and get unto social media- It is buzzing with your escapades.

You might still consider yourself some brave men in Ghana who possess the power to take away not only what people have worked for but to snuff out the very life of the individuals you rob.

Tell me, was it necessary to have killed the man you robbed of his GHS200, 000? Why would you kill your victims after getting all you want? Is it what you have become or we should brace ourselves for more?

The most disgusting thing is that sometimes, you have raped your victims, other times you have attempted raping them. It seems you have more time to rob and to even rape and attempt to rape your victims.

Seriously, you are making the life of the IGP, the Minister of Interior, and the National Security Minister, the BNI boss, the National security coordinator and others who hold security portfolios in the country very miserable.

I doubt they are able to have three square meals a day. Now the Interior Minister wants to procure helicopters to fight you people; now people have been advised to go paperless in many transactions and you have made the minister of information very ‘wild’.

They organized a news conference on you guys if you care to know. The minority have not been left out of this. They want the military to be unleashed on you and they want some people sacked. How could you!

Please, do tell us, where we can find you to effect your arrests. We really do want to cause your arrest. We don’t care how you get into the police cells but we need you in the cells; either you get arrested or your turn yourself in.

Should the police fail to find you, I wish (and this is not only my wish but the wish of the fishermen who egged me on to write you this letter) that thundercloud moves up over wherever you are and smash you into pieces; I could wish you nothing finer.

Should you have a change of heart, come to Oguaa for a dinner and let’s talk about what can make you gentlemen. Such business such as you are engaged in is for cowards. Dinner would be served.

Sincerely yours,

Oguaa Fisherman.