Time for you to sit down and have an honest conversation

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Tue, 28 Nov 2017 Source: Rudolph Mensah

Read, even if you don't like reading...

It is very important to sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself about the type of life you want to live and what things or achievements will personally fulfil you.

This should be a deep introspection.

You should understand that everyone has a personal notion of what success means and the definition of success is always subjective. This is crucial to staying away from the paradigm of comparison.

In the poem Desiderata, there are few lines which say: "If you compare yourself with others, you will become vain and bitter, for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

You are you and as Dr Seuss says, "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You" and you so go and be you.

Get out of the spiral of looking at other people's grass and thinking their's greener. The grass is greener where you water it. Sometimes, it is even greener because it's fake. Concentrate on your own grass.

Stay away from social media for a while if you have to or develop that thick skin to not let filtered photos and edited videos make you fret that someone is doing better than you.

We are all in the process of becoming (what our dream/vision is, if you don't have one, then what are you becoming?), so don't be ashamed of yours.

And if you don't know your dream, it's ok to be uncertain. Don't try looking farther than you can see, be micro goal oriented, do something small every day. Read books, go to seminars, ask questions, add 1% to yourself every day and soon you will realize what it is you are here for.

Stay healthy, eat well and exercise. You will think "prevention is better than cure" is a cliche until sickness keeps you down and you can't go after your dreams anymore. Take care of yourself.

Now, this dream or vision shouldn't be that of what others want you to do. Don't seek validation from others.

If you want to become a lawyer or doctor, why do you want to become a lawyer or a doctor ? Is it because your parents want you to or because of how society perceives it?

You should have your own "why" you are doing it. Take a good look at yourself and invest in your own potential.

You have to know where you are going. This is not time for experimentation but intentional living. Stop doing the unnecessary things and get to work on your purpose.

We will all die soon but very few will live. We don't have time to waste, stop wasting time. When you have a vision it simplifies your life. You know exactly what to do and what not to do. Without a vision, you drift wherever the wind blows you.

We are all metamorphosing and if we can concentrate in our own cocoon, soon the caterpillar will become a butterfly.

We have to shed our old skin, go through ecdysis and become what we dream of but in between that, it's not all rosy. It's messy in the middle and we all have to endure it.

Life is like a book. Don't compare your chapter one to someone's chapter ten. Be inspired to believe that if they have done it, you can do it too. Be inspired, learn, don't envy.

If we can all grasp this simple public secret, life will be a whole lot better and fulfilling. Happiness is a choice not on sale. Choose to be happy but don't be satisfied. Always strive to be better.

I am struggling to emerge from my own cocoon, concentrate on yours, let's encourage ourselves and get out together. Soon, we will fly around as butterflies.

The world will be a lot better and more beautiful. We shall win, maybe not immediately but definitely.

Columnist: Rudolph Mensah