God’s Phone Number International Church

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CHURCHICAL 13 years ago

very exciting piece. lol

very exciting piece. lol
NYAME BA 13 years ago

THE SECRET TO THE UNIVERSE IS IN SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY. THAT IS HOW NATIONS LIKE JAPAN, CHINA, GERMANY AND CANADA HAVE MADE IT. THE POOR NATIONS REMAIN POOR BECUASE THEY KEP ON PRAYING , FASTING AND SPEAKING IN TONGUES BECAU ...
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THE SECRET TO THE UNIVERSE IS IN SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY. THAT IS HOW NATIONS LIKE JAPAN, CHINA, GERMANY AND CANADA HAVE MADE IT. THE POOR NATIONS REMAIN POOR BECUASE THEY KEP ON PRAYING , FASTING AND SPEAKING IN TONGUES BECAUSE OF LAZINESS.

AFTER ALL THE PRAYERS, THEY GO TO THE NON-PRAYING NATIONS FOR AID, GRANTS, FOOD AND ASSISTANCE. AFRICANS, WAKE UP !
Kojo Billy Duncan 13 years ago

Thanks for clarifying our under-development in a few words.

Thanks for clarifying our under-development in a few words.
Kofi A , Suhum Gh. 13 years ago

Heaven Sent Church

Heaven Sent Church
kojo 13 years ago

God Revealed Church.

God Revealed Church.
NYAME BA 13 years ago

TOO MANY PASTORS AND FALSE PROPHETS. THAT IS WHY WE ARE POOR. THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS HARD WORK, SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY. STOPTHE LAZINESS AND WORK HARD.

TOO MANY PASTORS AND FALSE PROPHETS. THAT IS WHY WE ARE POOR. THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS HARD WORK, SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY. STOPTHE LAZINESS AND WORK HARD.
kob 13 years ago

Yet to hear the name of a church 'The Church of the chosen few'

Yet to hear the name of a church 'The Church of the chosen few'
Pumpuni 13 years ago

Paa Kwesi Mintah "benya wo".

Paa Kwesi Mintah "benya wo".
Hamid 13 years ago

Well, Paa Kwesi Mintah is waiting in the corner to pounce on KT-B but he will have a hard time cutting Tawiah down this time around - lol.

One reason is that Tawiah is learning - from PKM's criticisms. This piece does not ...
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Well, Paa Kwesi Mintah is waiting in the corner to pounce on KT-B but he will have a hard time cutting Tawiah down this time around - lol.

One reason is that Tawiah is learning - from PKM's criticisms. This piece does not contain many of the things PKM hates about Tawiah's articles. There are no academic references (PhD holders, universities, etc), the self-referent (of who Tawiah is and what he is or is not doing), there are no ladies named here, Sonnet doesn't appear, etc.

Well, Shakespeare has been referred to but in a relevant way and PKM will not fault that.

But, you never know what PKM can come up with. He may just see things which I am too blind to see since I don't belong to "The Blind Can See Ministries"...

I feel there are funnier church names Tawiah could have added to this piece but he, probably, does not know of them. He can't know everything. And he has to mix church names from Ghana, Nigeria and North America to make his point. But I think Ghana alone could provide more than enough funny church names for his article. And through it all, he forgot to tell us much about the church that informs the title of his piece...

Interesting read, though.
PARAGRAPH AKWASI APPIAH-- AFGHANISTAN 13 years ago

I know women will surely fill a church like this with such a strange name, struggling to get the number to call the so called 'Maame Wata'

I know women will surely fill a church like this with such a strange name, struggling to get the number to call the so called 'Maame Wata'

Future Judge 13 years ago

lol, but you have lucid knowledge of those crap

lol, but you have lucid knowledge of those crap
Dan Botchway 13 years ago

Great article bro.

Great article bro.
Nyansa 13 years ago

Great article man, in Kaduna one of them is called Unashamed of Jesus Church International. What a world.

Great article man, in Kaduna one of them is called Unashamed of Jesus Church International. What a world.
Kojo Billy Duncan 13 years ago

What about the one called 'Israel King of Jews Church', in Accra.

What about the one called 'Israel King of Jews Church', in Accra.
Paa Kwesi Mintah 13 years ago

KT-B,

There you go again, You couldn't help yourself by refraining from any mention of literary figures such as Shakespeare in a farcical article about apostolic pretentiousness. Haba.

I can easily tell you're making th ...
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KT-B,

There you go again, You couldn't help yourself by refraining from any mention of literary figures such as Shakespeare in a farcical article about apostolic pretentiousness. Haba.

I can easily tell you're making things up to spice up theme of your article, otherwise you would've supplied your audience with the location of the so-called GPNIC. As a journalist, you've failed in that regard.

And then your inarticulate juggle of facts to drive home a point that never showed up. You wrote:

"Nomenclature is a complex science. A rose is a rose, no matter what you call it. Well, maybe Shakespeare was quite simplistic on that occasion"

Well, FYI "Nomenclature" is NOT science and is not complex. There are naming conventions in various disciplines that follow a set of rules. Among the laboratory sciences and field sciences such as geology and paleontology, Latinized themes are preferred. Even in our Ghanaian culture, the naming convention for the sexes following the day of the week isn't complex or a science.

After making that wrong statement about nomenclature, you WRONGLY quote a Shakespearian verse. The correct quote by Shakespeare is "A rose by any other name will smell as sweet"

That Shakespeare quote derive no consequences from the preceding statement about nomenclature. Then you conclude by saying "Shakespeare was quite simplistic on that ocassion"
Are you kidding me or what? You're rather the one being a simpleton here by misusing a quote.

You've stated on these boards that your daddy is a reverned minister of the gospel. You should've noted being a preacher's kid that some of these churches with "strange" names often pick titles from biblical verses to name their church. You owe your readers further explanations and better examples. For instance, in Ghana there is the "Twelve Apostles Church", etc.

Schism in churches often create breakaway groups that take names to differentiate themselves from the original church. There are Reformed Baptists. Reformed Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Anabaptists, Baptists etc.

Your singular focus on just the names of these churches take away from the interesting history behind the names. That is actually the real interesting story and not the name.

If you're able to dig up some historical references for your article, you'll realize that "First United Separated Baptist Church" isn't an oxymoron, afterall.

Kwesi, I know you spend a lot of time to churn out these articles and I'll plead with you to put some careful thoughts and research behind your articles.
Hamid 13 years ago

PKM, Tawiah did not quote or cite Shakespeare. He made a statement that he referred to Shakespeare but he did not quote or cite the man. If he had put "A rose is a rose, no matter what you call it" in citation marks and said ...
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PKM, Tawiah did not quote or cite Shakespeare. He made a statement that he referred to Shakespeare but he did not quote or cite the man. If he had put "A rose is a rose, no matter what you call it" in citation marks and said that was what Shakespeare wrote, then he would be quoting the Bard wrongly. But he didn't do that. He put what he attributed to Shakespeare in his (Tawiah's) own words.

I think KT-B is also right in calling nomenclature a science - in a very generalized way. Nomenclature is one of those things that can be called a "science" or an "art". Even linguists call some of the things they do a science even though many will disagree. And Freud thought he was doing real science with his nebulous concepts. Nomenclature is practised more in the "hard" sciences (where new things are being constantly discovered) than in other fields. This may also be why Tawiah describes it as a science. And saying nomenclature is "complex" can be taken, in this context, as figurative, rather than literal. Remember KT-B is a literary man (huh!)

Your analysis of how splinter churches come to take the names they do is very interesting and, probably, right. Perhaps KT-B could have given us all more info by pursuing that line. But it is clear that is not his purpose. Such a pursuit will require more research than Tawiah is ready to expend his time on. Right now, he only wants a comic look at the end products - for the delectation of the simple minded readers on ghanaweb.

All of which don't mean I don't enjoy your criticisms, PKM. And, like I said in my first post, KT-B (and even others, too) may be picking a few things from your criticisms to improve his writing. But he won't say it... Some of it may even be on a subliminal level which he doesn't know of himself.
Paa Kwesi Mintah 13 years ago

Aaah Hamid,

I don't know if you'll be a good attorney or editor for KT-B but your courtroom pleading here is quite a stretch and the jury isn't buying it.

There's a saying that "If it quacks like a duck and walks like a ...
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Aaah Hamid,

I don't know if you'll be a good attorney or editor for KT-B but your courtroom pleading here is quite a stretch and the jury isn't buying it.

There's a saying that "If it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, then it is a duck". Juries often use this rule to convict, so here's to further convict your client, Kwesi Tawiah Benjamin:

After he wrote and isolated statement, " A rose is a rose", he invokes the holy name of Shakespeare and condemns him for being too simplistic. Now you tell me, members of the jury, what in Heaven's name is Shakespeare doing here with rose references and being damned by KT-B for being simplistic here? Huh? It's obvious he's quoting Shakespeare and condemning him at the same time for being simplistic.

In the genius mindset of KT-B, "nomenclature" should be complex and Shakespeare is seen here as being too simplistic. So lawyer Hamid, refund your client's fee. You're a bad attorney.

Now to the issue of Nomenclature being categorized as Science. If that's true, then the love between me and my dog can be categorized as marriage.

Do you really know what science entails, lawyer Hamid? The art of naming is now a science? Just because the Chinese drop spoons to use the sound it makes to name their kids "Chin Khan Li" doesn't mean naming things is a science. Science requires testing and experimentation to determine properties, qualities and function in pursuit of further knowledge about a subject. If the subject is the art of naming Chinese kids by dropping spoons on concrete floors or wooden floors to determine the frequency using oscilloscope and strobe machines etc, then "Nomenclature" is a science. Else you're creating a new category for science unacceptable even in the Chinese community that celebrated their New Year yesterday. Hamid, go easy on your Chinese food next time because their names are not scientifically determined.

You see, KT-B uses a style that's not polished but frustrating because he has the potential to be a good writer.

He spews a torrent of statements without backing. None of the statements relate to each other or the topic at hand. Then he makes a conclusion and thinks it's cute.

Of all the 2 X 4 authors here on Ghanaweb, he's the one of the few that I read thoroughly and I want him to improve.

Again there's nothing complex about nomenclature and it isn't a science.

Your client is convicted. He needs to write two more articles without references to literary figures, women protagonists, academia, professors, degrees and examples from Toronto or Canada.

I like the suite you wore in court today. Is it made in China by Li Xian Hu?
Hamid 13 years ago

1. Whether or not my client's reference to Shakespeare is far fetched and his condemnation of him unwarranted is completely besides the point. You accuse my client of misquoting Shakespeare but my client did not quote Shakesp ...
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1. Whether or not my client's reference to Shakespeare is far fetched and his condemnation of him unwarranted is completely besides the point. You accuse my client of misquoting Shakespeare but my client did not quote Shakespeare and so cannot misquote him. He only made reference to something Shakespeare said. That is NOT a quotation. My client was fully aware that he was not reproducing Shakespeare verbatim. That is why he freely used his own words and did not use citation marks. He then attributed the saying to Shakespeare so that it will not be mistaken to be his own. What YOU did was to quote Shakespeare which is why you were forced to use citation marks. That was not what my client did. You must withdraw that accusation.

2. When my client described nomenclature as a science, he did so in a generalized sense, not in the strict definition of science that you adopt. Indeed, my client was being very sarcastic in this context - laughing at the manner in which these people do their name giving. That is why he called what they are doing a science and also added that it was complex. To take his reference to nomenclature as a science as literally as you do as an endeavour characterised by experimentation is to completely miss the point here. What these people are doing by finding funny names for their churches is actually a very simple thing. Yet my client, very purposefully, calls it a difficult and complex science. That is the essence of the sarcasm, the lampooning, that you have missed by taking things at face value.

3. Your other points are conceded. I know very well you read only a few people here because they are the ones you think are somehow worth spending time on. Tawiah is one of those and he must take that as a compliment.

So the jury is still out and I am not about to cough out my legal fees...
Obaapa 13 years ago

IT APPEARS YOU ARE STRAINED AND STRESSED. This piece of article is nothing but something to open your minds on some of the funniest names coined by founders of christian churches. Just breathe and stop attacking the reader fo ...
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IT APPEARS YOU ARE STRAINED AND STRESSED. This piece of article is nothing but something to open your minds on some of the funniest names coined by founders of christian churches. Just breathe and stop attacking the reader for no reason or MAY BE YOU ATTEND ONE OF THESE FUNNY ORGANISATIONS THAT IS WHY YOU FEEL BITTER OR HAVE YOU GOT A FUNNY MINISTRY IN THE PIPELINE. LMAO
Paa Kwesi Mintah 13 years ago

Yes, Obaapa I do attend Church of Ghanaweb International.

Have you noticed all the Ghanaian churches have "International" in their names? Will you be the keeper of the collection plate here?

I wish I had enough bible ve ...
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Yes, Obaapa I do attend Church of Ghanaweb International.

Have you noticed all the Ghanaian churches have "International" in their names? Will you be the keeper of the collection plate here?

I wish I had enough bible verses to attack Kwesi Tawiah-Benjamin who is a preacher's kid.

Ask him the name of his daddy's church. He owes his readers that information since he's making fun of other churches.

Ike 13 years ago

Very exciting to read and very well organized with lots of info. Kudos

Very exciting to read and very well organized with lots of info. Kudos
Obaapa 13 years ago

MY EYES ARE FILLED WITH TEARS, AS IF I AM LISTENING TO MICHAEL MCINTYRE ON APPOLLO. This is the most funniest thing I have read this year. Thanks Kwesi. These pastors or so-called men of God will have more chance winning Euro ...
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MY EYES ARE FILLED WITH TEARS, AS IF I AM LISTENING TO MICHAEL MCINTYRE ON APPOLLO. This is the most funniest thing I have read this year. Thanks Kwesi. These pastors or so-called men of God will have more chance winning Euro millions than having my footwear next to their chapel. They are all fucking jokes as far as I could think of.
Kwame 13 years ago

An excellently hilarious piece by all standars
Kudos bro

An excellently hilarious piece by all standars
Kudos bro
KWEKU TWENEBOA 13 years ago

Riveting and educative in equal measure. A great read.

Riveting and educative in equal measure. A great read.
kob 13 years ago

I like this one I will copy and save it!

I like this one I will copy and save it!
john darkwah 12 years ago

very interesting article

very interesting article

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God’s Phone Number International Church

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