Overplay of physical intimacy in relationships cause breakups

A German International Marriage Counsellor has blamed the phenomenal breakup rate in relationships (marriages), to the over-play of physical intimacy over the verbal and emotional intimacies.

Rev Volker Gscheidle, Vice-President of Family Life International said instead of couples talking to each other (verbal intimacy) to build bridges of friendship, which is (emotional intimacy), they just jump into bed, (physical intimacy), which could be catastrophic.

He was speaking at a six-day seminar on relationships for a selected laity at the Bishop Holland Retreat Centre of the Catholic Church at Sokode-Gborgame, near Ho.

Rev Volker Gscheidle observed that where verbal and emotional intimacies in marriages were weak, physical intimacies could be mechanical, with partners parrying off promptings for sex by their partners.

“Not all snorting by partners in bed were actual,” the Counsellor stated.

He said another major source of conflict in homes was the power play between couples.

Rev Gscheidle said the interplay of traditional beliefs, poor understanding of biblical verses, upbringing and imprints from associations and experiences combined to inform conducts in relationships.

He said there was no biblical edict that imposed men as autocrats breathing down the neck of everybody in the home.

Rev Gscheidle said those in relationships needed among other things to cleave on to make them sustainable.

He observed that most relationships collapsed because of lack of effective communications.

Mr Thomas Havor, National Director of Family Life Ghana said the import of the seminar, which came in series, was to train lay people in the churches to support Pastors who were overwhelmed by the sheer need for their services.

He said marriage was God’s plan for humanity but unfortunately many who entered lacked knowledge of it.

Mr Havor said knowing about sex and sexuality, the challenges in marriage, financial issues and the effects of divorce was important.

“As you can see the job is huge for the Pastors alone,” he stated.

He said the issue of marriage was about pro-creation, and therefore cut across all religious denominations and beyond, as stability in marriages reflected in the health of nations.

Family Life International is a non-governmental marriage counselling organization, headquartered in Germany with branches in 18 African countries including Ghana, where it has operated for 25 years.