Twelve different men have tried to take me as their concubine – Poor widow recounts

Kologmah Zanlerigu (not her real name) is a 25-year-old widow who lost her husband exactly two years ago after a short illness. Kologmah has since then been living with only her mother-in-law and two little children and other children from her late husband’s brothers. Life has not been easy for her and the family after she joined the crowd of widows in her community.

A slender account of grief and superstitious side effect became a bestseller in her life. The death of her husband, which she recalled happened on 5th February 2018 left her in total shock as she fainted until his burial was over.

“The more shocking thing that I can’t forget is when men started calling me at night to meet them. Just 60 days after the final funeral rites of my late husband.” Kologmah recounted to Peter Agengre of GBC URA Radio in Bolgatanga.

Twenty-five-year old Kologmah in the Nabdam District of the Upper East Region is determined to see her children through school to completion but that urge has only translated into a dream yet to be fulfilled as she can barely make GHc1.00 to care for them. Her two children, all-female who are 8 and 4 years each are her pride and hope in this life.

“When my children have eaten and are satisfied, I am satisfied too. When they are happy and playing around, I feel relieved and happy too.” The poor widow explained as she tried to control some tears that had gathered on her eyes and about to fall.

What perhaps disturbs her the most is the fact that, men want to take advantage of her poor and unfortunate situation to take her to bed.

“Peter, I can tell you for a fact that, since my husband died, twelve different men have tried to take me as their concubine but I refused them. Two of them said they want to marry me but I am not moved by their words. It is because of my children. I can’t leave them and go after men because of poverty. I would be nothing to them when they get what they want from me, and that is sex.” She narrated but could not control the tears this time.

“I remember I gave the opportunity to one man from Zuarungu-Moshie in the Bolgatanga East District, but his behavior during the period was not profitable. Anytime I asked him to support me on my farm, he said he was busy. If I needed money to buy foodstuff and cook for the family, he gave excuses of having no money. As for anything concerning my children, he didn’t want to hear about that. But he would rather call to pick me up to a room he rented somewhere for his own interest. So I asked myself, what kind of a man was that? I advised myself and withdrew from that relationship.” She recounted in Nab’t.

Although according to her, she has tried to pull herself together to face life, the uncertainty surrounding the future of her children, her only hope, bothers her so much.

Kologmah is a trained seamstress who successfully passed out in 2015. But due to the unfortunate death of her husband, she is unable to set up her own business. According to her, she is ready to start her seamstress work should she get the support.

“The rainy season is here again and it’s going to be myself and my mother-in-law who would be on the farm alone. If we don’t farm, the children will not feed. I cry every day and ask God why he is allowing a young woman like me with two children to go through such difficulties. I have to negotiate with my kids every day about what to eat because I don’t have the money to provide for them.” She said in Na’bt.