The Twi word for a ghost is Osaman. Ghosts are supposed to be invisible and operate on the principle of I-see-you-no-see-me.
However, people have or claim to have a fair idea of what a ghost looks like.
‘I saw the Osaman, wallahi…
’ ‘It’s not true, you lie.’
‘It’s true …true o … Before I got to the spot I started feeling cold, then I started shivering , and then my teeth started chattering.’
‘Ei!’
‘Just then I saw him - tall and thin, wearing all white and he spoke through his nose.’
‘Ei!’
In all these years that I have lived on this planet, I am yet to come across anyone who has seen a short or fat ghost. All ghosts are tall and thin and always clad in white cloth .
Sometimes ghosts emerge from their underworld to cause trouble for the living, especially if the Osaman feels he was treated badly while he was on his sick-bed or if he reads on the internet that after his death some people are going to greet his wife too often.
In the past few days the name of one Osaman has been in the news. On Tuesday , September 11, mighty America experienced her worst nightmare :four passenger planes were hijacked by unseen persons and crashed, killing all Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve on board.
‘I swear, this was done by Osaman bin Laden, wahalli.
‘Did you see him?’
‘No one sees him…but sometimes he comes out to cause mischief .’
‘They say he bombed American embassies in Kenya and Tanzania eight years ago.’
‘Ei ! What will America do to this Osaman?’
‘They say they will smoke him out.’
‘But that is witch-hunting; they didn’t catch the man red-handed’
‘It’s not witch-hunting; it’s rather Osaman-hunting.’
‘Hmm, my brother .’
People who have had the experience before say that if you are slapped in public and you are not able to hit back at your adversary, that is, if you are not able to retaliate, it is very painful indeed.
Such a person, when he goes home and wants to show his powers, might face stiff opposition from his wife and children.
‘Look, you can’t come home and harass us.’
‘Araba, what’s come over you?’ I won’t tolerate indiscipline in my own home. I’m a man and ...’
‘You’re a man? Listen to him. When your fellow man slapped you in broad daylight, what could you do? You could not do huu.’
‘Remember you’re living under my roof.’
‘Oh, Landord Abodwese, ma yendwen. If you’re a man, go and face that guy.’
Folks, please no one should make the mistake of thinking that I’m referring to Dr. Tony Aidoo’s worst nightmare - when he was slapped in the streets of Accra in broad daylight and he did not retaliate and some people said wabo no free. I don’t want to be accused of witch-hunting. What the whole world is doing with America is Osaman-hunting.
People have realised that these days if you slap someone in broad daylight (whether in the streets of Accra or New York) hiser (his or her) chances of hitting you back are very slim, so they go about slapping people by heart. They know that on-lookers will intervene and make any retaliation impossible.
‘My friend, don’t mind him … the Devil has entered him … in fact, he is the Devil,’ they would say
‘Leave me! I say I will kill him now, today. How can he slap me like that?’
‘Leave him! When someone passes fart on you and you want to retaliate you might end up passing @!#$ in public.’
‘How can he slap me …?’
‘Remember the story of Job.’
‘Did Job’s wife slap him?
America wants to go Osaman-hunting to show the terrorists of this world that man dey. But people are restraining them. ‘If you chase a chick you might fall and …’
‘It is shameful for Big America to be chasing a person like Osaman bin Laden.’ ‘People might say America is anti-Islam.’
‘Terrorism is a global problem, so let us call a global meeting to solve the problem.’
One Ghanaian osofo even reminded America of Jesus’ exhortation to his followers to turn the other cheek. I don’t know whether by that he was asking America to invite Osaman bin Laden and his people to launch sea attacks this time. Take your time o, osofo; if Oga Bush hears this, wallahi...
Those who are advocating a global meeting to address the canker of terrorism are either theorists or want to cleverly tie the hand of America so that Osaman bin Laden can have time to jump on his horse and run away into the mountains of Afghanistan. Oko dedadeda (Kwame Nyanteh). The idea of a global meeting is laudable in theory; in practice it has serious problems.
At such a meeting, Gaddafi will be there; Saddam Hussein’s moustache will also be very much in attendance; so will Yasser Arafat and the Talebans.
The greatest problem at such a meeting will be a consensual definition of ‘terrorism’ and ‘a terrorist.’
‘A terrorist is someone from the Middle East who bombs embassies and hijacks planes and ….’ America would say. ‘Mr. Chairman, if someone bombs Tripoli, what is he?
‘Or if he attacks Palestinians?’ Arafat will also ask.
‘Hei, my friends, we are serious, you hear? You can’t ask those questions here.’
‘We will ask.’
‘Go way you, Bullshit.’
‘You too go way you, dzimakpla.’ ‘You too, dzimakpla … we are all terrorists, so let’s go and sin no more.’
It has already been argued that the September 11 tragedy is not wahala for Americans alone. This is true.
We in Ghana have also been hit in several ways. Our people believe that se Onyame bo ohiani a na wabo ne boafo, that is whenever God creates a poor man he also creates someone to help him.
When we went HIPC, I’m sure we knew America would shore us up so that a time would come when our debts would be remembered no more. Not only that: we even expect them from time to time to give us small ‘soli’ - a case of give me food to eat and some for my dog too. But with this calamity …?
If you’re a five-star brokeman and your benefactor suffers a severe calamity …
People are also saying that one of the hijackers might be a Ghanaian. How? One of them is called Mohammed Atta. ‘Ei, this is serious o.’
‘America will be angry with us.’ ‘Then we are finished … these HIPC times.’
That is why it is most unfortunate that a Ghanaian who has been refused an America visa twice went to the American Embassy and threatened to burn down the place.
‘Aha, we told you… that Atta man might be a Ghanaian. See another one?
If America should try to deal with this frustrated visa applicant, people might accuse them of witch-hunting. But what they are doing now is Osaman-hunting.
