Jake Gives Up On Akufo-Addo!!!

In nursery school, it used to be “Jack: where are you?” and the response will be “I am here”.

This time around, it is “Jake: where are you?” and the response is “I am not here”.

Ever since it hit the front burner, via Wikileaks, that Akufo-Addo smokes “A LOT OF WEE” (Praise be to comrade Kwesi Prat), and wakes up with a heavy cloud of wee smoke hanging over his “sakora” head, NPP National Chairman, certificateless Jake Otanka Obetsebi Lamptey, has not uttered a single word in defence of his junkie flagbearer.

A rather loquacious fellow who thinks his the inventor of spin, it is surprising that the NPP National Chairman has decided to play “mumu” in the wake of the startling Wikilleaks revelation (which has always been a known secret) that the man he foisted on the NPP is addicted to wee, cocaine, and bottoms.

Sniffing around, The Informer has picked up “leaks” from within the NPP that Jake has given up on Akufo-Addo.

Reportedly, Jake is in a heightened state of quandary; not knowing how to spin around the Wikileaks cables that have hammered the final nail into Akufo-Addo’s coffin.

For somebody who was able to litter Ghana with the dead bodies of women in 2000 to create a state of fear and panic, and also attempted to drown the nation in the fake Amina mass rape story, it is shocking that he is unable to come up with any of his evil spins to attempt to move attention away from Wikileaks.

According to The Informer’s “leaks”, Jake has confessed to some high-ups within the party that “the game is over for us”.

According to The Informer’s “leaks”, Jake has decided to stay away from the Wikileaks cables lest he drowns himself in the drowning image of Akufo-Addo.

“Already, Jake is finding it extremely difficult to raise funds for the campaign because financiers don’t believe Akufo-Addo can beat President Atta Mills and with Wikileaks further blighting Jake’s chances of raising funds, he has given up” the “leaks: said.

Apparently, Jake is damn scared of wading into the Wikileaks wee waters because of a lie that he told about Akufo-Addo’s strong addiction to wee and cocaine.

It would be recalled that at the NPP’s Kasoa rally (dubbed Mother of all rallies) in the build-up to the 2008 elections, Jake stood on the platform and said that all the stories about Akufo-Addo being a junkie were not true and that Akufo-Addo “has never smoked even a cigarette his whole life”.

When Jake was making that statement, he knew he was lying but the master liar that he is, he told the lie with cheeky ease thinking that Ghanaians will swallow it hook, line and sinker.

Fortunately for Mother Ghana, Ghanaians preferred the God-fearing and humble Professor Atta Mills and gave him the mandate to move the nation forward in the right direction and not in the direction of wee, cocaine, bottoms, looting and stealing of state property.

Indeed, it is not only Jake who has given up on Akufo-Addo.

The Informer has it on authority that the likes of Hackman Owusu Agyemang, Felix Owusu Agyepong, Kwabena Agyepong, Nana Ohene Ntow, Yaw Osarfo Marfo, Dan Botwe, Kwamena Bartels and Odoi Sykes, have all confessed one way or the other that Akufo-Addo’s wee problems cannot be glossed over.

As for people like, John Agyekum Kofi Diawuo “50 cents” Kufuor, Kwadwo “Mugu Yaro” Mpiani, Richard “Sweet Dick” Anane, Dr. Addo Kufuor, Allan Kyeremanteng Mathew Opoku Prempeh and the Ashanti cabal, it is an open secret that they have never believed that Akufo-Addo has what it takes to become President of Kwame Nkrumah’s Ghana.

Jake has always known that Akufo-Addo is not a presidential material but because of his rancorous and frosty relationship with Kufuor, Jake became an ardent supporter of Akufo-Addo in order to spite Kufuor.

Now that Jake Otanka Obetsebi Lamptey himself has given up on Akufo-Addo, the NPP must start preparing a funeral cortege as well as crafting a dirge because come December 2012, “Inshalah”, Akufo-Addo SHALL lead the NPP into Ghana’s political graveyard.

Editor’s Note: It is not expected that neither Jake nor any of the above-mentioned persons will openly admit that in their heart of hearts they know that there is no way Akufo-Addo can beat President Atta Mills in view of the heavy wee, cocaine and bottoms sword of Damocles hanging around the neck the NPP flagbearer.