My Boyfriend Gave Me HIV

They look like the perfect family, happily celebrating Christmas Day. Lizzie Jordan and her loving boyfriend Benji Kumassah beam for the camera as their little daughter Jaye, 2, struggles to get back to her presents under the tree. But within three months of this photo Benji was dead, and soon after Lizzie got the news she was dreading.

Benji died suffering from AIDS, and she is HIV positive too. Lizzie, 25, from Gainsborough in Lincolnshire, says: “I’ll never forget the moment my GP gave me the diagnosis. “He came to my house and I suppose in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn’t going to be good. “It took three tense weeks for the results to come through, so when I heard the words ‘You’re positive,’ it was almost a relief. “My biggest concern was for my daughter, who I had to stop breast feeding immediately. “Jaye went for blood tests, but mercifully she’s clear.” Lizzie and Benji’s story begins in 2003 when she logged on to an internet chat room for a break from researching a dissertation in fashion design.


The first person she contacted was Benji, who had arrived in the UK from Ghana to study IT six years previous, and eventually landed a job in a prominent computer firm. For six months the two messaged each other every day, until Lizzie could bear it no longer, and hopped on the train to London for their first face-to-face meeting. Lizzie says: “He worked around Old Street and I wasn’t familiar with London so I got completely lost.“Although I arrived late Benji didn’t mind at all. There he was across the street jumping up and down and yelling.


“I thought ‘Oh my goodness!’ “He was such an exuberant character and I clicked really well with his lively personality. “We fell in love quickly, and after I graduated from Birmingham University I set my sights on a move to London so we could see more of each other.” Lizzie didn’t take long to find a job as a jewellery designer in the capital and the city proved to be exactly what she’d expected – fast, fun and expensive. So when she fell pregnant the couple decided to leave their pricey flat in Hackney and move temporarily to Lizzie’s cheaper hometown.


When little Jaye finally arrived in February 2005, Lizzie and Benji were ecstatic - with a bouncing baby girl it seemed like they had the perfect family. But then Benji started complaining of mysterious headaches.Lizzie says: “He began to feel tired and described flu-like symptoms.“The headaches increased and I’d find him slumped on the sofa in a kind of trance.“His speech slurred too, and we were obviously really worried about what was going on.“One day I just couldn’t wake him up and rang NHS Direct.“They sent an ambulance straight away.”At Accident and Emergency in Scunthorpe General Hospital doctors were as baffled by Benji’s condition as Lizzie was.


He drifted in and out of consciousness, but with regular blood test results, no temperature and no signs of infection, staff struggled for an answer – until they ordered a CT scan.Lizzie says: “After the scan Benji was rushed to the intensive care unit of Hull Royal Infirmary.“On the way in the back of the ambulance I got a chance to see what had showed up.“His brain was a complete mess. It was riddled with what looked like little air pockets and there was no cushioning for it.“For some reason I knew Benji wouldn’t make it out of the hospital. “Thanks to steroids he settled for a while, and had a few moments of consciousness.

“Our little girl visited and Benji managed to wave goodbye to her for the last time. “It broke my heart to see him like that – he was built like an athlete and was used to the best of health.“On Wednesday March 29 last year Benji passed away with me, my mum Fiona and his sister Vindia at his side.“The death certificate said he died from a brain tumour.”To be sure of the verdict, Benji’s consultant sent his brain away for analysis. After five and a half months of waiting Lizzie got a call from the coroner to say the results were in, and she should visit her GP. Lizzie recalls: “I expected to be told what the tumour was, or how long Benji had it. “But my GP’s face told me there was more to it. “He said Benji died from toxio plasmosis, a disease caused by a weak immune system. “Basically, my boyfriend had AIDS.”


Doctors believe Benji contracted HIV around 15 years before he passed away. It’s extremely rare for a sufferer to last that long without any signs of the killer virus that attacks the body’s immune system. When tests confirmed Lizzie had also been infected she joined one of the fastest growing groups of HIV sufferers in the UK – straight men and women between 16 and 25. The pretty brunette hopes that by speaking out she’ll remind people like herself that AIDS hasn’t gone away.


Lizzie says: “When I think back to my days at university I can’t believe how careless I was. “Most guys and girls are more worried about a pregnancy than contracting HIV. “But each time you sleep with someone without protection it’s like Russian roulette. “HIV has totally dropped off the radar and young people need to be aware of the risks.


“It’s such a shame Jaye will grow up without her dad. “Otherwise life is good as I have a very supportive family and I’m years away from needing medication. “But that day will come, and I never thought this would happen to me.” Lizzie appears on HIV and Me, tomorrow night at 9pm on BBC Two.