Femi Asante, a lawyer, entrepreneur and wife of Nana Asante Bediatuo, a former Executive Secretary to ex-President Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo, has opened up about her painful journey to motherhood.
She has revealed in a podcast interview with The Pesewa that she went through 10 failed in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) attempts and five failed surrogacy attempts, and how those experiences left her angry with God, despite years of praying and believing that she would become a mother.
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In sharing her experience, Femi said there were moments when she questioned why God had allowed her to go through so much pain after she had prayed for a child.
“I was angry with God because I prayed for a child and then I had a miscarriage, so I was angry with him at that time,” she said.
She recalled how she became hopeful when one of her surrogates became pregnant on December 27, 2022, only for the pregnancy to end in a miscarriage in early January 2023.
Femi said the loss was particularly painful because she had to host an evening of worship the following day, an event at which she was raising funds for the maternity unit of Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Despite the pain she was dealing with, she stated that she went ahead with the programme but struggled to hold back her tears.
“I don't even know how I'm going to host the next day. So I do what I do best, which is host, but I was biting my cheeks, you know, just so I wouldn't cry,” she recounted.
“I just thought, God, why again. I'd had 10 failed IVFs and five failed surrogates. Like, you can't do this to me, and he did,” she said.
Femi also recounted how she regularly went to the altar at Mount Calvary Cross Ministries with a baby onesie tucked inside her Bible, praying for the child she hoped to have.
She said she had prayed specifically for a daughter, but another attempt involving a male embryo did not succeed.
According to her, by that point, she had become so accustomed to disappointment that she no longer cried when the surrogate called to inform her that the attempt had failed.
“I went back to the altar, laid my onesie again, and told God that this is not what he promised me, so he's going to have to give me my daughter,” she said.
Femi said the repeated disappointments eventually changed her approach to faith and that, rather than continuing to ask God for a child, she began focusing on knowing Him more deeply.
“My surrogate was crying; I wasn't crying because, after multiple negatives by this time, I'd stopped asking God for a child. I just wanted to know him for who he was, and I believe that was my breaking point,” she disclosed.
Femi said that despite all that she went through, God finally blessed her and her husband with a female child just as she desired.
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“My surrogate took my female embryo, and that's my daughter, and she got pregnant, and after you've had multiple disappointments, when you actually hear that either you're pregnant or your surrogate is pregnant, you don't even want to tell anybody because you don't want a situation where, if it doesn't go well, you now have to come back and say it doesn't go well.
“It's just very emotionally taxing, so I didn't say it to anybody for a very long time… My daughter's delivery date was December 27th, 2023, the same day the previous year when I found out that my other surrogate was pregnant,” she added.
MAG/VPO
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