Couples
‘Sexpert’ Edwina has written a piece that advises men and women not to be fixated by ‘standardizations’ when it comes having ‘great sex’ or lovemaking. According to the expert , just one round can be great.
Read her full piece below:
Too often, we focus on having sex the way the rule book prescribes, such that we don’t take time to explore and understand what makes sex phenomenal for us.
Great sex is not necessarily about going more than one round. I can’t count how many people force themselves to go more than one round. What is wrong with going one round and enjoying that round? Anyway, a story for another day.
Having great sex is not just about having orgasms, neither is it about experiencing temporary paralysis because somebody almost ‘banged’ you to death.
While all those things seem interesting, many people focus on trying to measure up to certain standards – to the detriment of discovering what great sex really means to them.
So for a moment, throw away the general prescriptions for great sex and think, “What makes sex great for me?”
Let me take it a step further and simplify this for you…
Think about your best sexual experiences so far. At least, the top three most amazing sexual experiences. What made those experiences amazing for you? Why do they stand out so strongly?
If you could bring any of those things into play again, would the experience still be amazing for you?
This very simple exercise is a great way to define your unique recipe for great sex.
Great sex for you may require that your partner takes time to pay attention to your body. For someone else, it may mean adding an element of naughtiness (sex cuffs and blindfolds). To others, the element of urgency might make sex more exciting (Yeah baby, I can’t wait long enough to get to the bedroom, I want you here and now), or it may be as simple as having a participative partner.
Your recipe for great sex may vary, depending on the situation or what you are in the mood for. Whatever that recipe is, embrace it!
It would also be great to do this simple exercise with your partner and share your findings with each other.
Understanding what makes sex great for you is crucial to enjoying a mutually fulfilling and highly pleasurable sex life.
