Dear GhanaWeb: Bound by vows, torn by truth – Should I leave my husband over his secret?

Dear GhanaWeb,

My husband entered my life in the most serendipitous way. It was my 25th birthday when a friend introduced us. Our conversation flowed easily, and we exchanged contacts, starting what would become a beautiful relationship.

As we grew closer, I admired his devotion to ministry and chose to support him wholeheartedly. Through him, I deepened my faith, discovering a passion for singing that led me to join my church choir. I became fervent in personal evangelism, sharing God’s love with others.

One Sunday, he invited me to his church. I found it so fulfilling that I left my mother’s church to join his. Together, we were a dynamic duo, navigating the challenges of evangelism with faith and resilience.

Then came a Monday evening when I was exhausted from work and hesitant to attend church. The associate pastor called persistently, urging me to come. Reluctantly, I agreed and was asked to lead worship. As I closed my eyes to say “amen,” I opened them to a moment I’ll never forget—my fiancé kneeling before me with an engagement ring. Joy overwhelmed me, and I couldn’t wait to say yes.

A week later, he met my parents, and we began preparing for our wedding. Our journey was bathed in prayer and counselling sessions, during which he held firmly to his vow of abstinence until marriage. I respected his commitment, even when my own desires grew stronger.

Our wedding day came and went, a celebration of love and faith. But two weeks into our marriage, I began noticing something troubling. My attempts at intimacy were met with rejection. When I questioned him, he insisted he was still honouring his promise to God.

Confused and deeply concerned, I sought advice from our counsellor, who suggested a medical test to rule out any underlying issues. With my husband’s consent, we proceeded, and the results shattered me. At 15, he had experienced a medical issue that left him unable to conceive or engage in intimacy.

When I confronted him, he admitted the truth, leaving me feeling betrayed. My dreams of starting a family seemed to collapse in an instant.

Now, I stand at a crossroads. I feel deceived, yet I fear the stigma of divorce. Society and my church community might view me as selfish, but can I ignore my own needs and desires for the sake of appearances?

I am torn between preserving my vows and pursuing a future that aligns with my deepest hopes. Should I choose to stay, or is it time to walk away?