Dear GhanaWeb: My husband died and no one told me about his passing

Dear GhanaWeb,

My husband died 14 years ago. We had been married for just a year when he lost his life in a motor accident. He loved riding motorbikes; that was how we met, and it was something we enjoyed doing together most of the time.

He was 31, energetic, and confident on the road. He even rode his bike to work instead of driving, and we went almost everywhere together on it until I was seven months pregnant. He loved the speed, the thrill, and even racing and performing tricks. I enjoyed it too, though I was often afraid.

When I was nine months pregnant and almost due, I was home when his brother rushed in to pick up some of his belongings.

He told me my husband was unwell and in the hospital, but he refused to say what had happened or which hospital he was in, claiming it was because of my condition. I was worried and kept asking questions, but no one would speak to me.

Three days after hearing he was “not well,” I went into labour and gave birth. My husband’s brothers settled the hospital bills and took me home, assuring me he was recovering and would come to see us.

They even brought me notes they said were from him. Unknown to me, my husband had already died. No one told me, and I did not even know when his funeral was held.

It was only when my baby was five months old that I learned the truth: my husband had died three days before I delivered. I had waited for him, believing he would return, and I did not even name our child during that period.

When I finally found out, I was shattered. In my pain, I developed resentment toward my baby. Sadly, that feeling has lingered. My son is now almost 15 years old, but I struggle to feel connected to him.

He went to live with his uncle when he turned four, and I have barely seen him since. I do not miss him, and I have no desire for companionship with anyone else.

For years, all I have done is mourn and miss my husband. Even before they told me the truth, I sensed something was wrong, he was not someone who would go a day without seeing me.

The stories I was told were confusing and inconsistent, and deep down, I knew they were lies.

He was vibrant, adventurous, and full of life. Being with him brought me happiness I have never experienced since. I want to heal, truly heal from this pain, and find peace again. I need your guidance and suggestions, please.

FG/EB

20 years of entertaining Ghanaians, Kwabena Kwabena talks achievements