Dear GhanaWeb: My new husband wants me to change my son’s surname to his

Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m a 34-year-old woman and I was married but my husband died five years ago. We had one child; he was two when my husband died.

I stayed single until somewhere in the third year after his death. I met this gentleman who happens to have one child too, but never married and has no baby mama issues. We got married this year.

He was okay when we were dating, had no single issue with anything I did. Now that we’re married, he is bringing up so much that I’m becoming uncomfortable.

He wants to change my son’s surname to his. He wants me to get rid of all pictures and memories I have of my late husband.

He even prevented me from visiting my husband’s grave, so I had to sneak there later to tell him I was married now. I update my late husband on everything because he was the best thing to ever happen to me.

His love for me was so unconditional, so is mine for him. He would move the world for me. He loved me when he had nothing and when he had everything, he loved me more. He never changed or turned on me.

That man was the love of my life. The least I could do for him is to let his name live on, so I can compromise everything, but not changing his son’s name, I’ll never do that.

This has been a serious issue for my new husband and I. He wants me to even go and leave the child with my husband’s family, while his child remains for me to take care of.

I love his child, but I can’t give up on mine. He’s really been fighting me over my past. He knew all these and was ready for us to marry. He’s switched now and I don’t understand.

My new husband even took my phone and deleted all pictures with my ex-husband inside. The money I’ve been surviving on for the last five years before he married me is an investment my late husband made for my son and I when he was diagnosed with colon cancer that took his life.

I appreciate my current man and I want this marriage, but his conditions and fights have become unbearable and I’m not ready to compromise on some of his requests. I’d rather divorce than change my son’s name and end my ex-husband’s legacy.

I’m really confused on what to do now. I need your advice, please.

FG/EB

President Mahama, Akufo-Addo and Kufuor's arrival for state funeral in honour of Nana Konadu