Edward Enninful discloses the guilt he felt branching away from the career his father designed for him
Editor-in-Chief of British Vogue, Edward Enninful, has opened up about the challenges he faced as a creative child and the internalized fear that haunted him for years because of the fear his father put in him.
In a conversation with YouTuber The Diary of A CEO, the Vogue Editor-In-Chief disclosed how his father's imposing presence instilled a deep fear within him, he would rip up and burn drawings from when he was a child, erasing any traces of brilliance.
“I mean, what I inherited from that period when my father petrified me with his presence was this fear, the overriding fear that never leaves you. A sense that I was never good enough or that I had to hide any form of brilliance because looking at those early drawings from what I did. They are not far off from what I do now, but it was just like, ‘Don't show how brilliant you are, hide it, hide it.
“Ripping them up, burning them so there will be no traces of it. As a creative child, can you imagine that, that is your calling? You didn't know at that age that this is what you were meant to do, but you saw it as something that was wrong,” he said.
Edward added that he faced conflicting expectations from his family and society during his formative years.
As an African child, he was often told that prestigious careers such as being a lawyer, doctor, or engineer were the only viable options for success and this traditional mindset left him feeling a sense of unease, as he knew deep down that his true passion lay in the fashion industry.
“So, I spent a lot of years just really loving what I do. Loving the fashion industry but, at the same time, thinking that there is something wrong with it.
“While this was going on, I was being told that I was going to be a lawyer, a doctor, or an engineer. So to me, those were the great careers that you needed as an African child, and for an African parent, that was it, doctor, lawyer, or engineer,” he added.
He also admitted that for years, he grappled with a sense of not living up to his potential and internalized the belief that if he pursued a career as a doctor, lawyer, or engineer, his father would be proud.
This pressure to conform to societal norms and gain parental approval weighed heavily on him.
It took considerable introspection and self-discovery for Enninful to confront these expectations and find the courage to embrace his true calling.
“Sometimes I always felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing, you know. If I were a doctor, my daddy would be proud, and I carried that with me for years until I had to deal with it,” he stated.
ADA/OGB
