Dear GhanaWeb: I cheated on my loving husband with our prophet

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• IGNORE BASIC PRINCIPLES F MALE FEMALE RELATIONSHIP AT YOUR OWN PERIL 11 months ago

  Whether this story is made up or not it clearly demonstrates the mistakes many married men and women make- THEY DO NOT RECOGNIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF BUILDING BOUNDARIES OR HEDGES AROUND THEIR MARRIAGES. Building hedges or putti ...
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  Whether this story is made up or not it clearly demonstrates the mistakes many married men and women make- THEY DO NOT RECOGNIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF BUILDING BOUNDARIES OR HEDGES AROUND THEIR MARRIAGES. Building hedges or putting boundaries around your marriage means you can no longer allow yourself to have any close relationship with a member of the opposite sex outside of your marriage. Once married you can no longer safely allow yourself to become emotionally close or dependent or someone other than your spouse. YOU HAVE TO ACTIVELY MANAGE THESE BOUNDARIES AT ALL TIMES. There is a particular danger when dealing with "prophets", and other "Men of God" and other authority figures (including at your places of work) -because people generally let their guard down in these sorts of settings especially in religious environments. Sometimes the circular or non religious world has a far better understanding of these male-female dynamics than the religious world and take active measures to mitigate any risks. Circular organizations also tend to keenly aware of potential litigation that could be levelled against them by employees complaining of sexual harassment . What do I mean? For example within the Armed forces of most countries there is a code of conduct or code of honor that states that an officer cannot have an affair with the spouse of another officer or have an affair with a subordinate or junior. In the same way a doctor having an affair with a patient is likely to end up losing their license to practice medicine because of "abusing the patient -doctor relationship" which is based on trust. Similar rules govern conduct in the judiciaries of most nations .The problem in the religious arena (take Ghana for example) is that not many such guidelines exist especially in most one-man churches. Impunity and abuse of power reigns supreme. Many so-called "Men of God" (the list of self-awarded titles are too many to list here) are completely ignorant of the perils that can arise when dealing with a person of the opposite sex. They don't understand that being cooped up alone with a member of the opposite sex in an office or alone in any room could be asking for big big trouble.IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER A CHURCH MEMBER IS THERE FOR "PRAYERS" OR "COUNSELLING" OR ANYTHING ELSE THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT A WOMAN AND MAN ARE ALONE IN A ROOM.IT IS NOT FOR NOTHING THAT THE BIBLE STRONGLY AND REPEATEDLY ASKS US TO FLEE FROM SEXUAL LUSTS- IT IS ONE OF THE FEW INSTANCES IN THE BIBLE WHERE WE ARE ENCOURAGED TO RUN RATHER THAN STAND AND FIGHT "SIN" (PREVENTION IS FAR BETTER THAN CURE). Many a Man or woman has destroyed a very promising career, ministry or destroyed a wonderful marriage by failing to understand this fundamental Male-female sexual dynamic. HUSBANDS DON'T ALLOW YOUR WIVES TO SEE A MALE FOR COUNSELLING ALONE OR SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WITH THEM.WIVES WISE UP AND DECLINE COUNSELLING ALONE WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX OR ANYBODY WHO MAKES ANY SEXUAL ADVANCES, EVEN YOUR PASTOR OR PROPHET ETC .
  LET ME REPEAT THIS: IT IS EXTREMELY UNWISE TO ALLOW YOUR SPOUSE (HUSBAND OR WIFE) TO SPEND TIME ALONE WITH A SO-CALLED MAN OR WOMAN OF GOD FOR COUNSELLING OR PRAYERS. You may be called "Paranoid" because you are taking a sensible stand- that is ok. Stick to your guns. A man of God should avoid counselling a member of the opposite sex alone on a one to one basis. Bear in mind that abuse of this nature occurs even in some same sex situations. Some very wise Men of God never counsel a woman without their wives being present. I know many reputable men of God who have designed their church offices in such a way that everybody can see everybody else through glass panels ,including the head of the organization-This is actually quite common practice in circular or non religious organizations.
  Of course there will always be wolves in sheep clothing who deliberately target vulnerable members of their congregation, groom them and abuse them emotionally and sexually. I heard of one famous but now deceased "Man of God" in North America who regularly organized holiday trips including ocean cruises for his church members and used these opportunities to conduct affairs and access the wives of some of his most devoted followers. His wife of many years had already divorced him several years previously on on account of his infidelity but because of his public standing his church hierarchy had more or less covered up his misdeed. As always happens in all these cases this particular man of the cloth's misconduct inevitably came out in the open.

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• Akua 11 months ago

  Am a woman but i want to confidently say women are the most dangerous creatures in the whole world. how could you? if u really love your husband like you say, why cheat on him. u call cheating emotional support hmmmm. I now b ...
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  Am a woman but i want to confidently say women are the most dangerous creatures in the whole world. how could you? if u really love your husband like you say, why cheat on him. u call cheating emotional support hmmmm. I now believe in every 5 kids 1 or 2 do not belong the husband. is high time woman stop such evil act. A those evil men calling themselves men of God and pastors, this foolishness of sleeping with other men wife should stop haba.

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