Dear GhanaWeb: My husband's mistress died during childbirth and now I'm asked to adopt the baby

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YOU DID NOT BRING THAT KID INTO THE WORLD.YOUR HUSBAND HAS THE NERVE TO ASK YOU TO DEAL WITH THIS? 9 months ago

I know of several cases where wives agreed ,sometimes under considerable social pressure to adopt their husband's illegitimate child. For sure no husband has the right to demand that his wife become nurse to his child born as ...
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I know of several cases where wives agreed ,sometimes under considerable social pressure to adopt their husband's illegitimate child. For sure no husband has the right to demand that his wife become nurse to his child born as a result of his sexual escapades ( EXTREMELY PAINFUL evidence of a gross betrayal of his wife's trust). It is the wife's place and only the wife's prerogative to show mercy if she feels she is up to it. To coerce a betrayed wife to adopt a child born under such circumstances is subjecting them to a truly extreme form of EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
HERE IS A LITMUS TEST FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARE SO QUICK TO INSIST THAT A BETRAYED WIFE SHOULD ADOPT THE OFFSPRING OF HER HUSBANDS INFIDELITIES:SUPPOSING THE WIFE BECAME PREGNANT BY ANOTHER MAN WOULD THE SAME HUSBAND BE HAPPY TO NURTURE AND RAISE THE KID AS HIS OWN, IN SPITE OF THE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE THAT THE CHILD WAS ANOTHER MAN'S AND A PRODUCT OF HIS WIFE'S UNFAITHFULNESS?
As they say "what is good for the goose is good for the gander". See what I mean?
To forgive and accept the child of an errant spouse requires a level of grace and mercy that is in my view beyond mere human capability, it is only possible through divine grace.
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The Spear 9 months ago

Well, looks like you're right.

Well, looks like you're right.
Fm 9 months ago

You are under no obligation to raise that kid. Its not yours. If you don't want, you don't want.

You are under no obligation to raise that kid. Its not yours. If you don't want, you don't want.
Ghanaman 9 months ago

Since you have already decided to divorce your husband, the issue of adopting his child is not even up for consideration.

Since you have already decided to divorce your husband, the issue of adopting his child is not even up for consideration.
Nana 9 months ago

How about this, since you were willing and ready to adopt one in the near future, why don’t you consider making this one your own especially considering the fact that he’s motherless now. There’s a lot more blessing in ...
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How about this, since you were willing and ready to adopt one in the near future, why don’t you consider making this one your own especially considering the fact that he’s motherless now. There’s a lot more blessing in this. Don’t forget the baby is just as innocent as the one you’d have probably adopted in the future. I think you’re being a little too harsh on both yourself and your home. Reconsider this decision please
The Spear 9 months ago

She says she can't really love the child, and she's about to step away from the marriage. That means, apart from the link of the child between her hubby and her, she wants to have nothing to do any longer with the man after c ...
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She says she can't really love the child, and she's about to step away from the marriage. That means, apart from the link of the child between her hubby and her, she wants to have nothing to do any longer with the man after claiming her shares in their combined possession. On the cusp of the pending divorce, you see the proposition as anything enticing?
SANTROFIE 9 months ago

GOD WILL BLESS YOU FOR DOING THAT

GOD WILL BLESS YOU FOR DOING THAT
Dave 9 months ago

Why would any husband think that it is reasonable to ask a wife who is in the process of working on their divorce to take care of his illegitimate child who is partly the reason for the divorce? And why is his mother not will ...
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Why would any husband think that it is reasonable to ask a wife who is in the process of working on their divorce to take care of his illegitimate child who is partly the reason for the divorce? And why is his mother not willing to accept and raise her own grandson when she is the mastermind of that child's birth? By the way, if you feel resentful towards the innocent boy, better don't take him. And there is no point taking him if you are divorcing the man.
Francis 9 months ago

Who is the illegitimate child. You are throwing your future comfort into a dust bin. I promise you ,yur daughter is never a guarantee for your future up keep. Do the right thing. Think about the next thirty years and how nat ...
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Who is the illegitimate child. You are throwing your future comfort into a dust bin. I promise you ,yur daughter is never a guarantee for your future up keep. Do the right thing. Think about the next thirty years and how nature would place and treat you

The Spear 9 months ago

Francis, what should be done to enforce your comprehension that she does not and will never love that child? Once a woman voices that out, she won't step away from it. You don't love someone, you don't love them.

Would yo ...
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Francis, what should be done to enforce your comprehension that she does not and will never love that child? Once a woman voices that out, she won't step away from it. You don't love someone, you don't love them.

Would you take something close to you that reminds you everyday about your broken life and dreams?
Gbenzeh 9 months ago

It's your fault

Why in this world would you refuse to give birth again when your husband wanted another. If only u had agree to give birth again with him and for him,all these wouldn't have happened. It's normal to be Hur ...
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It's your fault

Why in this world would you refuse to give birth again when your husband wanted another. If only u had agree to give birth again with him and for him,all these wouldn't have happened. It's normal to be Hurt but you are taking lots of wrong decisions. Your mind is messed up now and I would urge u gain your sanity before taking any decisions.
Regardless, u guys can work things out without divorce
Egya 9 months ago

What will our advice be to you once you are not paying heed to your family members

What will our advice be to you once you are not paying heed to your family members
Egya 9 months ago

What will our advice be to you once you are not paying heed to your family members

What will our advice be to you once you are not paying heed to your family members
Hannan 9 months ago

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Esta Tetteh 9 months ago

Why are you wondering if you made the right decision. I think you are putting up too much drama.i don't see where your husband has gone wrong.you clearly did not want any more babies.he went to have a baby .you added a wife t ...
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Why are you wondering if you made the right decision. I think you are putting up too much drama.i don't see where your husband has gone wrong.you clearly did not want any more babies.he went to have a baby .you added a wife to it.please I think you are exaggerating this issue.if inspite of all that you have been told I dont think we should waste more energy on you..Go ahead and sacrifice your life because of I dont know what.you have been given a baby you did not have to struggle for.!!put on your thinkinhg cap and embrace your family.no where cool.i dont subscribe to this negattive attitude.be a noble woman of God.
The Spear 9 months ago

You have never been betrayed before. Even a little hint would be appreciable.
The man only brought a lady to the matrimonial home in a matter of "fiat lux", an absolutely atrocious hurt and you're blaming the lady? It is ve ...
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You have never been betrayed before. Even a little hint would be appreciable.
The man only brought a lady to the matrimonial home in a matter of "fiat lux", an absolutely atrocious hurt and you're blaming the lady? It is very disrespectful and an insult to the lady. Put the footwear on the man let's see how he'd react to it!
Be an agent of peace 9 months ago

Who is this sinless and faultless Spear only interested in stoking the fire?

Who is this sinless and faultless Spear only interested in stoking the fire?
Rita 9 months ago

God works in mysterious ways. This helpless child is all yours. You have him and you can set your terms. Withdraw your divorce set your terms and give peace a chance. You will be blessed. Bring him up as your very own. You wo ...
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God works in mysterious ways. This helpless child is all yours. You have him and you can set your terms. Withdraw your divorce set your terms and give peace a chance. You will be blessed. Bring him up as your very own. You won’t regret it
Boakye David 9 months ago

Dear Ghanaweb,
This married woman is so selfish and wicked to herself. The man came boldly with a reason for impregnating outside which you the so called married woman you are aware of.
Stop being childish. This shows you ...
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Dear Ghanaweb,
This married woman is so selfish and wicked to herself. The man came boldly with a reason for impregnating outside which you the so called married woman you are aware of.
Stop being childish. This shows you are not matured enough to get married but you did. You have expectations in your married which is good thing to do but not all expectations will come the way you expected it.
Marriage is meant for matured people not grown ups. I can see you are just a grown up not matured.
If I am part of your family, I will never, I mean never beg you to stay and take the child born outside your married or beg you to rescind your divorce processing.
Go ahead and divorce the man. You think you have money so you can decide things around you easily. Just go ahead to divorce this man.
I wish to tell the man not to prevent you filling for divorce.
Nonsense grown up wife.
As if you don't know African marriage.

Brown 9 months ago

Betrayal is painful especially in love but if you allow God to take control and given that your soon to be ex-husband is apologising for the wrong he caused you, please reconsider..Perhaps, you need time away from him to heal ...
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Betrayal is painful especially in love but if you allow God to take control and given that your soon to be ex-husband is apologising for the wrong he caused you, please reconsider..Perhaps, you need time away from him to heal but don't walk out of the relationship. The child is innocent. A gift from God. Who knows what God's plans are for Him in the future. Temper justice with mercy and watch God work out everything. I wish you the best
Archangel, Kumasi 9 months ago

Some women in nature are greedy, bitter and jealous, they only considers and listen to their sentiments,to me I see no reason for this neglect since the prime suspect unfortunately is dead,cos destiny no one knows, what of th ...
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Some women in nature are greedy, bitter and jealous, they only considers and listen to their sentiments,to me I see no reason for this neglect since the prime suspect unfortunately is dead,cos destiny no one knows, what of the adoption you are considering st the first place
Bati 9 months ago

When you pray and ask for wisdom, God will bring you difficult problems to solve, that is how you will know you are Wise now.
The Lady said, she will not go through that child birth again, but will adopt in the near future, ...
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When you pray and ask for wisdom, God will bring you difficult problems to solve, that is how you will know you are Wise now.
The Lady said, she will not go through that child birth again, but will adopt in the near future, God answered her prayers through this situation, free child without go through stress to choose. This one is half your husband and half a dead woman, meaning no competition. GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAY Sister.
You have answered prayers. Don't let your actions also affects you Girl by making her fatherless too.
Trip 9 months ago

A lot of the comments here are so misleading. If you take that child and remain in the marriage, that man will repeat what he did to you over and over again. Treat yourself with some Self-care and peace of mind. RUN! Follow y ...
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A lot of the comments here are so misleading. If you take that child and remain in the marriage, that man will repeat what he did to you over and over again. Treat yourself with some Self-care and peace of mind. RUN! Follow your heart and never look back. Non of these people giving you all kind of advice shares your pain and hurts.
Heal yourself, move on with your life. The only real family you have is "your daughter" .

Shalom

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Dear GhanaWeb: My husband's mistress died during childbirth and now I'm asked to adopt the baby

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