Misc Jokes

Smart Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a
drink and, while he's nursing it, the monkey runs wild. It
jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in
its mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and
says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did? It
just swallowed the cue ball from the pool table." "Yeh, well
I hope it kills the little shit. He's been driving me nuts."
The guy finishes his drink and leaves. Two weeks later, he
comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey
starts running wild again. The monkey finds a grape on the
bar. He grabs the grape, sticks it up his ass, then pulls it
out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted."Did you see what
your monkey did just now? He stuck a grape up his ass, then
pulled it out and ate it." "Well, what did you expect?" the
patron replied. "Ever since he ate that damn cue ball, he
measures everything first!"