Misc Jokes

Complaints from Renters

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired
and burnt my knob off.

2. The neighbors 18 year old son is continuously banging his
balls against my fence. Not only is this making a heck of a
noise, but the fence is now
sagging in the middle.

3. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away
from the wall.

4. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of
the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other
night that blew them off.

5. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the
kitchen.

6. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children
until it is cleared.

7. Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an
old age pensioner and need it bad.

8. I want to complain about the farmer
across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up
and it's getting too much. Its all right when my husband is
on day-shift, but when he's on back-shifts or nights I get it
several times a week from Mr. Docherty next door and at my
age it's too much.

9. The man next door has a large erection in the back
garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

10. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and
would like a third, so will you please send someone to do
something about it.

11. The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand?

12. I am a single woman living in a downstairs apartment and
would be pleased if you could do something about the noise
made by the man I have on top of me every night.

13. Please send a man with a clean tool to finish the job
and satisfy the wife.

14. I wish to lodge a complaint against my neighbor in 211.
When I get undressed at night I can see him looking in my
window with binoculars. Do I need to pull down my own
shades?

15. When I'm in the shower I turn on the
water and I get hot. Could some nice repairman fix my pipes
so I don't always get hot?