Misc Jokes

Tips from Wyatt Earp

It's the 1880's, wild west, Dodge City, Kansas, Saw Dust
Saloon.

A gunslinger walks into the bar, looks over, and there's
Wyatt Earp sitting there, playing cards. The gunslinger
saunters over to the table and says, "Mr. Earp, I really
admire you, and I just wanted you to know that I plan on
being the best gunslinger the west has ever seen, and I was
wondering if you had any tips for me."

Well, Wyatt leans his chair back and says, "I don't normally
give out tips in this business, as it could be hazardous to
my health, but let me look at ya."

The boy steps back, and Wyatt carefully overlooks him.

He nods, and says, "Why yes, I reckon you're a gunslinger
alright. Got the leather pants, the waxed holsters, the ivory
handled guns... You look nice... But can ye shoot?"

The boy draws a gun, fires, and clips off the right
cuff-link off the piano player.

Wyatt nods, and asks, "What about yer left hand?" Before
Earp even finished his sentence, the boy had drawn his left
gun, fired, and shot off the left cufflink.

Wyatt nods, and says, "Why I reckon that's pretty good
shootin', and yes, I do have a tip for ya. Go back there in
that kitchen and get the cook to give you a big bucket of
lard. Take your guns and dip them way down into the lard.
Make sure you get the handles and everything. That's my
tip."

The boy looks at him, confused, and says, "Well, why on
Earth would I do that?"

Wyatt lowers his seat back to the table and looks at his
cards and says, "'Cause as soon as Doc Holiday over there
finishes playing the piano, he's gonna come over here, take
those two guns of yours and stick em...."

The boy didn't even stay around for the rest of the tip.