Misc Jokes

Things I've Learned from Children

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy
underwear and a Superman cape.

It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four
walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh," it's
already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the
movies.

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball
shoes it does not leak - it explodes.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq
foot house 4 inches deep.

LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four year
old.

Super glue is forever.

McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

Crayons do not remain solid when stored on a car's dashboard
on a hot summer day.

Never leave a toddler, a furry animal and a pair of scissors
alone in the same room.

VCR's do not eject peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, even
though TV commercials show they do.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. {that darn
hamster!}

Small pets and microwaves are a bad combinations.

You should never take a goldfish for a walk; even on a
leash.

The fire department has at least a 5 minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth
worms dizzy.

It will however make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.