Misc Jokes

The Lady and the Drunk

A woman carrying her little baby gets on board the train and
takes her seat. A man, stumbling out of the club car –
obviously very drunk – stops in his tracks and peers down
closely at the baby.

“My gawd!” he slurs, “But that’s one ugly kid ya got there
lady! I’ve seen some ugly kids, but that one wins the prize
for UGLY! My gawd, but why don’t you put a bag over its
head?”

Well the woman becomes hysterical at this man’s comments. A
steward rushes over and all he can make out from the woman’s
screams and sobs is that, somehow, the drunk has been the
cause of this. So he escorts the man to another car then
comes back to try to comfort the woman.

“Look, lady, I don’t know what the man did or said, but
I’ve moved him to another car so that he can’t bother you any
more.” The steward said. “I see that you’re still very upset
so I brought you a drink, compliments of the train, to help
you calm down. And look! I also brought a banana for your
monkey!”