Misc Jokes

A Cat's Diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that
keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant!

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.
Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try
this on their bed later!

DAY 762 - I Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors
with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at un-Godly
hours of the night!

DAY 765 - I Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am
capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They
only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I
was. Hmmm. . . I must try this with their baby!

--Kitty