Misc Jokes

The Brave Captain

The Brave Captain

Seems there was a treasure ship on its way back to port.
About halfway there, it was approached by a pirate, skull and
crossbones waving in the breeze!

"Captain, captain, what do we do?" asked the first mate.

"First mate," said the captain, "go to my cabin, open my sea
chest, and bring me my red shirt." The first mate did so.

Wearing his bright red shirt, the captain exhorted his crew
to fight. So inspiring was he, in fact, that the pirate ship
was repelled without casualties.

A few days later, the ship was again approached, this time
by two pirate sloops!

"Captain, captain, what should we do?"

"First mate, bring me my red shirt!"

The crew, emboldened by their fearless captain, fought
heroically, and managed to defeat both boarding parties,
though they took many casualties. That night, the survivors
had a great celebration. The first mate asked the captain the
secret of his bright red shirt.

"It`s simple, first mate. If I am wounded, the blood does
not show, and the crew continues to fight without fear."

A week passed, and they were nearing their home port, when
suddenly the lookout cried that ten ships of the enemy`s
armada were approaching!

"Captain, captain, we`re in terrible trouble, what do we
do?" The first mate looked expectantly at the miracle worker.

Pale with fear, the captain commanded, "First mate.... bring
me my brown pants!"