Misc Jokes

Sermon Sleeper

One day Mr. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at
his church. "Reverend," he said, "I have a problem; my wife
keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the
minister. "Take this pin with you. I'll be able to tell when
she's sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.
When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg with the
pin." In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off.
Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "...And
who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding
to Mr. Jones. "Jesus!" cried Mrs. Jones as her husband
jabbed her in the leg with the pin. "Yes, you are right,
Mrs. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off
again. Again, the minister noticed her dozing. "Who is your
redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mr.
Jones. "God!" cried out Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again
with the pin once again. "Right again, Mrs. Jones," said the
minister, smiling and continuing his sermon. Before long,
Mrs. Jones dozed off again. However, this time the minister
didn't notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he
made a few motions that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to wake
his wife again. He was just sticking his wife with the pin
again when the minister asked, "...And what did Eve say to
Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones shrieked,
"You stick that damned thing in me one more time and I'll
break it off and shove it up your ass!