Misc Jokes

Dying Wish

A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his
bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest,
and his lawyer. "I know," he says, "they say 'you can't take
it with you.' But who knows? Suppose they're mistaken. I'd
like to have something with me, just in case. So I am giving
each of you an envelope containing one hundred thousand
dollars and I would be grateful if at my funeral you would
put the envelopes in my coffin, so that if it turns out that
it's useful, I'll have something." They each agree to carry
out his wish.

Sure enough, after just a few weeks, the old man passes
away. At his funeral, each of the three advisors is seen
slipping something into the coffin.

After the burial, as the three are walking away together,
the doctor turns to the other two and says, "Friends, I have
a confession to make. As you know, at the hospital we are
desperate because of the cut backs in funding. Our CAT SCAN
machine broke down and we haven't be able to get a new one.
So, I took $20,000 of our friend's money for a new CAT SCAN
and put the rest in the coffin as he asked."

At this the priest says, "I too have a confession to make.
As you know, our church is simply overwhelmed by the problem
of the homeless. The needs keep increasing and we have
nowhere to turn. So I took $50,000 from the envelope for our
homeless fund and put the rest in the coffin as our friend
requested."

Fixing the other two in his gaze, the lawyer says, "I am
astonished and deeply disappointed that you would treat so
casually our solemn undertaking to our friend. I want you to
know that I placed in his coffin my personal check payable
for the full one hundred thousand dollars."