Misc Jokes

Words to the Wise

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

If you look like your passport picture you probably need the
trip.

Always yield to temptation because it may not pass your way
again.

Eat Well . . . Stay Fit . . . Die Anyway.

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of mind and narrowness of waist
change places.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize
a mistake when you make it again.

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is
when I'm in the bathroom.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall
never cease to be amused.