Misc Jokes

Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that
means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift
supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to
do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have
quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we
want."

"Just how big were those two beers?