Misc Jokes

The Top 13 Signs You've Hired The Wrong Magician (Part II)

13. "Put your hands together for Dildo the Magnificent!"

12. Novel as it may be, pulling a hat out of a rabbit just
plain scares the kids.

11. Trick #1 -- the disappearing pants!

10. Seems genuinely amused every time he pulls a quarter out
of your ass.

9. He calmly announces that "any animal lovers in the crowd
should probably leave the room for the next few tricks."

8. Saws the lady in half, then tells the kids that only
"money from mommy's purse" can make her whole again.

7. At first you though an anal retentive magician would be
funny, but who wants to see a guy saw a woman into 259 slices
of unvarying width?

6. Turns out his patented "pounding a woman in half" trick
is XXX rated.

5. During intermission, she made your 15-year-old son's
virginity disappear.

4. All of his "tricks" are written in C++.

3. Keeps telling your daughter, "It's not the size of the
wand that matters, it's the magic in it."

2. His version of "The Disappearing Dove" requires a can of
Crisco and a latex glove.

1. Sure, the rabbit-from-the-beret thing was cute, but The
Great Lewinsky's "Magic Stain" trick was downright gross.