Misc Jokes

The Procrastinators Creed

1.I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have
been done already.

2.I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or
find excuses.

3.I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of
consideration.

4.I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to
the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from
missing them.

5.I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for
new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from
my obligations.

6.I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable
regardless of the amount of time given.

7.I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle,
though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

8.If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

9.I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I
decide to change my mind.

10.I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first
step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

11.I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the
greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work
that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

12.I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but
is wait/plan/plan.

13.I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget
about forever.

14.I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-
Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever
get it organized.