Misc Jokes

What Your Car Says About You

ACURA INTEGRA - I have always wanted to own the Buick of
sports cars.

ACURA LEGEND - I'm too bland for German
cars.

AUDI 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires.

BUICK PARK AVENUE - I am older than 34 of the 50
states.

CADILLAC SEVILLE - I am a pimp.

CHEVROLET CAMARO - I enjoy beating people up.

CHEVROLET CHEVETTE - I like seeing people's reactions when I
tell them I

have a 'Vette.

CHEVROLET CORVETTE - I
am going through a mid-life crisis.

DATSUN 280Z - I
have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.

DODGE DAYTONA
- I delivered pizzas for four years to get this car.

FORD MUSTANG - I slow down to 85 in school zones.

FORD
CROWN VICTORIA - I enjoy having people slow to 45 and change
lanes

when they pull up behind me.

GEO STORM - I
start 11th grade in the fall.

GEO TRACKER - I start
12th grade in the fall.

HONDA CIVIC - I have just
graduated and have no credit.

HONDA ACCORD - I lack
any originality.

INFINITI Q45 - I am a physician with
17 malpractice suits pending.

JAGUAR XJ6 - I am so
rich that I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop

280
days per year.

LINCOLN TOWN CAR - I live for bingo and
covered dish suppers.

MAZDA TRUCK - I only WANT people
to think I'm a construction worker.

MERCEDES 500SL - I
will beat the shit out of you if you ask for an

autograph.

MAZDA MIATA - I do not fear being
decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.

MGB - I am dating
a mechanic.

MITSUBISHI DIAMANTE - I don't know what it
means either.

NISSAN 300ZX - I have a government paid
car.

PLYMOUTH NEON - I sincerely enjoy doing the
Macarena.

PONTIAC TRANS AM - I have a switch blade in
my sock.

SUBARU LEGACY - I've always wanted a Japanese
car more inferior than Isuzu.

TOYOTA CAMRY - I am
still in the closet.

VOLKSWAGON BEETLE - I still watch
Patridge Family reruns.

VOLKSWAGON CABRIOLET - I am
out of the closet. (I own a VW)

VOLKSWAGON MICROBUS -
I am tripping out right now.