Misc Jokes

Kleptomaniac

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In
the confessional he admitted that for years he had been
stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he
worked.

"What did you take?" his priest asked.

"Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house.
And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the
lake."

"This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to
think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a
retreat?"

"No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can
get the plans, I can get the lumber."