Misc Jokes

Anthropologists Captured By Cannibals

Three Anthropologists - An Englishman, a Japanese, and a New
Yorker - were captured by cannibals in the jungle.

The head cannibal spoke to them, "Look, we've captured you,
and we're cannibals, so - well, we're going to eat you. I
know you probably don't like the idea, but this is how we
live, and our entire village of men, women and children, both
young and old, will be sustained as a result. Besides that,
nothing goes to waste - we eat all your edible parts, and we
make tools and implements from your bones & hair, glue from
your eyeballs & toenails, rattles with your teeth, and we'll
even make a canoe from your skin." "Beside that" he
continued, "We'll let you kill yourself in any manner you
want."

The Japanese anthropologist chose ritual disembowelment, and
requested a ceremonial sword. He was given one and shown to a
hut, where he killed himself.

The English anthropologist requested a pistol. He was given
one, went behind a hut, and shot himself.

When it was the New York anthropologist's turn, he requested
a fork.

"A fork?" said the head cannibal "You want to kill yourself
with a FORK?"

"Yeah," said the New Yorker," I said I wanted a fork so
gimme a fork, shut up and just gimme a goddam fork,
awright?!?"

When handed the fork, the New Yorker began to violently stab
himself all over his arms, legs, chest, stomach ribs, back
and front . . . "FUCK your CANOE!" he shouted.