Misc Jokes

Quotes from Famous Mothers

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man.
Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER:
"I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to
be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER:
"After all that money your father and I spent on braces,
Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER:
"Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a
hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen
to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still
could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER:
"Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball
in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER:
"Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you
have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the
ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER:
"All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card
inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and
prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER:
"Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting
off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a
baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER:
"I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but
you're starting to look a little purple."

MARY'S MOTHER:
"I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary,
but I would like to know how he got a better grade than
you."

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER:
"I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear
family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER:
"Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your
tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more
spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do
something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse,
something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER:
"The next time I catch you throwing money across the
Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER:
"That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really
been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER:
"Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've
decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you
quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light
bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"