Misc Jokes

Ostrich in a Bar

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he
sits down, the bartender comes over and asks for their
order.

The man says, "I'll have a beer", and turns to the ostrich.

"What's yours?"

"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.

The bartender pours the beer and says, "That will be $3.40
please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out
the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the
man says, "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says, "I'll
have the same." Once again the
man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change.

This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the two
enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.

"Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large
scotch", says the man.

"Same for me", says the ostrich.

"That will be $7.20" says the bartender.

Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the
exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the
attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie
appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that
if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my
pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there."

That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would
wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be
as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls
Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The bartender asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the
ostrich?"

The man replies "My second wish was for a chick with long
legs."